Plant Crops to Ascend: Book Transmigration

Blurb: Song Aitian transmigrates into a book, becoming a minor cannon-fodder character in a cultivation novel about choosing love interests. After fighting tooth and nail to save his own skin, he’s ready to make a name for himself in the cultivation world, only to discover that his old blood-fainting problem from his previous life came along for the ride. Falling back on his old expertise in agriculture, Song Aitian calmly declares, “I love peace. Let’s cultivate peacefully, farm the land, and ascend!” His sect is so poor it can barely scrape by. His senior sister warns everyone: “Foundation-Building Grass can only be found in secret realms. Be sure to harvest it carefully when you find some.” Song Aitian gazes thoughtfully at the space in his hand, where plants grow at an accelerated rate. Then he uses crossbreeding techniques to cultivate a new, farmable variety of Foundation-Building Grass. He leases every nearby mountain, clears the land, farms, raises livestock, and leads the Taixuan Sect to become the greatest sect under heaven! The cultivators who came to watch the joke: ??? At the joint tournament of the Southern Region’s sects, a sword-obsessed cultivator famous far and wide sees Song Aitian standing empty-handed and flies into a rage. “You dare not use a magic weapon? Are you looking down on me?” Song Aitian helplessly pulls out the magic-weapon tractor he just finished refining and climbs inside. Using the tractor’s shovel, he effortlessly scoops one opponent after another off the arena, winning first place in the tournament! The cultivators still waiting for a joke: !!! A secret realm yields a top-grade spirit pet. When the cultivators hear Song Aitian has arrived, they promptly turn around and head home. His servant is baffled. “Young master, why are we leaving?” The cultivators who have already been face-slapped: “Why bother fighting over it? In two years, he’ll be selling them for 9,998.” The Beast Taming Sect is consequently on the verge of bankruptcy. Its sect leader is furious. “Song Aitian is too much! How can you raise spirit pets like pigs?” An elder smiles slyly. “Why not get rid of him?” The sect leader looks up at the sky. “We must know our opponent, understand our opponent, defeat... acknowledge our opponent, and join them. Send a few disciples over, ahem, to learn from him. Be sure to pick people who won’t be recognized!” The original story tries to correct its plot countless times, but unfortunately, it loses every time to Song Aitian, who’s too busy farming to care... The protagonist, Nan Liujing, goes from being a frail spell cultivator to a poor but brutal body cultivator. Song Aitian eyes his lean-in-clothes, muscular-out-of-them physique and silently mourns for the male leads. Years later, after being poisoned with a love potion and thoroughly ravished, Song Aitian stares blankly. “No wonder the original story’s point of view was unclear. With that bastard Nan Liujing, it’s hard to tell whether he’s the top or the bottom!” 1. Both leads are virgins: a sunny on the surface, yandere within, reborn laid-back top × a stern on the surface, goofy within, transmigrated overachiever bottom. 2. An unconventional cultivation story about leveling up. The main characters usually farm and run shops, only going on killing sprees when they snap. 3. New chapters every night at ten. See you then! The author is physically delicate, but barring circumstances beyond my control, I won’t abandon the story. Coming soon: “I Went Viral Reviewing Funeral Supplies” Nian Ruixue stares at his increasingly haggard face in the mirror, his heart full of dread. Last night, his ghost husband came to visit again, and they had another passionate night together. If this keeps up, he’ll be drained dry sooner or later. Sob. As a celebrity, he should have enough popularity to ward off the erosion of yin energy. Unfortunately, he’s a nobody from the bottom rung of showbiz, and the industry has already blacklisted him... If he can’t be a celebrity, then he’ll just have to become an influencer! Nian Ruixue launches a livestream and gives it a catchy name: “Live Reviews of Funeral Supplies!” “Hello, everyone! Today we’re checking out the paper money that bloggers keep recommending. Which brand’s currency is worth the most in the underworld? Stay tuned for my best-and-worst list.” “A huge review of paper offerings shaped like phones! I’ve spent a fortune buying more than twenty models, and I’ll be testing live to see which ones can stream without buffering and which have the most apps.” The unsuspecting passersby who stumble in: What kind of lunatic is this??? As the crowd mocks him, more and more ghosts rally behind Nian Ruixue. “Oh, I bought the recommended Rolls-Royce and paper chauffeur, and got to enjoy being a rich lady for once. The review was spot-on. Five stars!” The number of people supporting Nian Ruixue also skyrockets. “This is incredible! Half a year ago, I dreamed my grandpa said a ghost had taken over his grave, and told me to burn him the paper lawyer team and Underworld Legal Code from the livestream. Recently, I dreamed about him again... He said he’s about to win his case!” With both the living and the dead behind him, Nian Ruixue goes viral online and takes the mortal and spirit worlds by storm! Thanks to him, struggling incense and candle artisans enjoy a second career boom; a coffin shop on the brink of closing comes back to life; and the lifeless underworld, because of him... A netizen curses him out: “A washed-up nobody who couldn’t make it in showbiz, doing sensational livestreams and chasing clout. All he does is grandstand!” That night, the netizen gets a vicious beating from eighteen generations of their ancestors. The next day, swallowing their pride, they make a new account and buy paper long underwear. Online chatter: “How many paid trolls has Nian Ruixue hired for his livestream? It’s like an army of underworld soldiers marching through!” Looking at the ghosts who make up more than half his livestream audience, Nian Ruixue answers honestly: “Thanks for asking. I haven’t hired any trolls, but most of them are probably underworld soldiers.” Theme: Reject violence and cultivate peacefully.