To Hell with Cultivation

On the day Chen Erdan was born, purple clouds came from the east, auspicious mists filled the skies, and fragrant orchids and musk scented the air. The villagers of Shijiawa, young and old, swore they had seen a huge ball of fire fall from the sky into the backyard of the Li family. A lame Taoist smiled kindly. "This child is no ordinary mortal. He'll ascend in broad daylight when he's ten." "Ascend your ass!" Chen's father swung his elbow and slapped him. A balding monk gazed at him benevolently. "My old friend, how have you been? Why not come with me?" Chen's mother planted her hands on her hips, ready to spit. "Master, are you from the Mogao Caves?" "What makes you say that?" "You sure have a lot of wall paintings!" Chen Erdan grew to be five. Whenever celestial music drifted above the roof and colorful clouds gathered over the treetops, the people of Shijiawa would all rush out and fling the garlic paste and manure they had prepared at the sky. "Back, back, back, back! Back, back!" Chen Erdan was meant to inherit sixty mu of paddy fields in Shijiawa. What was the point of cultivating immortality? Bonus scene: Little Chen Erdan: "Dad, I don't want to herd cattle anymore. This strange person gave me a book of inner cultivation and said he'd teach me to cultivate immortality." Dad Chen coaxed him. "Don't believe his nonsense. The year you were born, I held you up to test your spiritual roots. You're a good-for-nothing through and through." A fake cultivation story that's really about a spiritual qi revival and farming, full of absurd comedy. Look forward to it! How strange. Take another look, and maybe add it to your collection~ Theme: Set your heart on the light and press forward without hesitation