The Handsome Older Swordsman Finds a New Career

Dai Dai Ji You Shui Mu Huo, author of My Game-Clearing Landlord Life Blurb below owo * Chen Chaoshen is the most laid-back sword cultivator in his sect. He loves nothing but practicing swordsmanship, fears strangers, and hates going out. One day, to escape the sect tournament, he went into seclusion for a thousand years. When he emerged, he discovered that his sect had become a cultural heritage site, and entry cost fifty silver coins. His portrait was hanging at the ticket booth, beneath a long red banner that read, "The Grand Thousandth Anniversary of Chen Chaoshen's Death." Chen Chaoshen took out a Kaiyuan Tongbao coin. Seeing the vast sea of people, he drew a deep breath before daring to approach, and stammered, "One senior ticket, please." But the shop assistant at the ticket counter shouted, gripping his hand with one hand and reaching for his throat with the other. "Curator! Someone's sneaking in without a ticket! And they haven't shown a health code or put on a mask!" * In over a thousand years, Chen Chaoshen had never been locked up in a jail cell. His white Taoist robe was spotless, except for the orange vest over it, and a pair of iron cuffs had appeared around the wrist of the hand holding his sword. The walls of the jail were covered in portraits, all of people he knew. His cold and heartless senior brother from the Hehuan Sect had become a movie star, and was also an anti-pornography and anti-illegal-publications ambassador working undercover in the entertainment industry. His life-bound sword, devoted to the Dao, had become an invaluable national treasure. It had even joined bloodlines with other famous swords and fathered 108 cultural relics. His master, who had seemed untouched by worldly concerns, had become a real estate tycoon worth hundreds of billions, reportedly with twenty villas in the city center. Only Chen Chaoshen, facing strangers, kept a calm expression while a storm raged inside him. "Tell us the truth. Name, age, occupation, ID number." The white-robed sword cultivator sighed softly. "Chen Chaoshen, courtesy name Chongyao. I should be twelve hundred years old. I'm a sword cultivator, and usually... I slay demons and vanquish evil..." "Are you even an adult? You're a high school student, right? Skipping school and making up lies." * A couch-potato sword cultivator with social anxiety [This is a work of pure indulgence, with no outline.] *The author is a patriotic and conscientious citizen. The values expressed in the story are not the author's own. Watching without thinking is recommended! If you insist on thinking, this author can hold your brain for you! * Also check out the upcoming novel next door, Unemployed Novelist [Blurb is provisional as of 2022.8.19 and will be revised] Qin Huai, a shut-in novelist. Twenty-two years old, living in a thirty-square-meter rental. He dropped out of high school, and there are about thirty bowls of abandoned instant noodles on his desk. His updates never get finished, his guaranteed pay is only 3.3 yuan per thousand characters, his parents have cut ties with him, and he's struggling to survive. Right now, he's facing a rent crisis. He unlocks his phone and sees a middle school classmate posting nine sunlit vacation photos in a row on WeChat Moments, along with lovey-dovey couples living their best lives... Qin Huai frowns. "This is so annoying." Humanity should just be destroyed. His fingers are swollen from tendonitis... He used to get good grades in middle school and was handsome, too. He was the pride of his parents and teachers. Oh, this wretched life. His next book will be about tentacled monsters destroying the world. Hope everyone gets cremated together tomorrow. * After an all-nighter, he sleeps like the dead. When he wakes, tentacles have grown beneath his shirt. He seems to have gained some of his protagonist's traits, such as tentacles, curses, and photosynthesis. Qin Huai: This is hilarious. Humanity will be extinct tomorrow. Sixty days later, Qin Huai steps outside for the first time, only to discover people flying swords above his head, and a magical girl holding a staff... The girl smiles at him. "Are you an unemployed novelist, too?" *The male lead is a gloomy, twisted man with long black hair and glasses. Friend's blurb: My Game-Clearing Landlord Life by Shui Mu Huo ① Female lead's perspective: A hardworking, outstanding wage slave is electrocuted unconscious at her desk. When she wakes up, her body has mutated, and she's been bound to a game in its closed beta. Tang Wan asks around and learns that to play this game, she has to be a landlady collecting rent. No way! An outstanding wage slave will never let anyone oppress her! Then she asks again: The rental property is in the second ring road of a second-tier city, and the apartment building comes free. Tang Wan: There's no way I'm going back to work. I guess I'll just play games and earn some rent money. But she really wants the System to explain why so many bizarre tenants have moved into her building! From then on, with her ten-centimeter-long black fingernails that can extend and retract at will, Tang Wan serves the people every day. ② Ordinary people's perspective: One day, tenants in a building and a number of other people are selected for an infinite-flow game. The tenants have a safe house where they can rest. Different pieces of furniture have different restorative functions, and some of the level NPCs are even relatively gentle with them. Some of them even have a chance of summoning a mysterious big shot, who waves impossibly long black fingernails and comes to their rescue. For a while, they think they've landed in an infinite-flow group-favorite story. Later, they discover that the NPCs who treat the tenants kindly are actually their roommates, living under the same roof without ever having met them. And the big shot with long black fingernails and a gothic style is their landlord. Theme: Even when life is hard, keep shining and contributing your energy!