I’ll Never Dare Love You Again [Reborn]

Please add my upcoming story next door, “This Time, I'll Be the One to Give Up on You,” to your favorites! Blurb: Lin Shu dies a horrible death in a raging fire. Before closing his eyes, Lin Shu thinks that if he gets another life, he never wants to be human again. Being human is exhausting. The person you love can abandon you, your family can set you up, and you can be locked away in a mental hospital, better off dead than alive. As the flames roar, carbon monoxide fills his lungs. Listening to Qin Yuchi's favorite song, Lin Shu thinks that at last he can be free. He and Qin Yuchi are like the two poles of a glacier, forever unable to meet. He and Qin Yuchi are like identical magnetic poles, forever repelling each other. Lin Shu knows they aren't right for each other, but he refuses to believe in fate or take no for an answer. He loves only Qin Yuchi, so he resorts to every means at his disposal, even threatening to ruin his acting career, until Qin Yuchi is forced to accept his love. So in the end, Lin Shu is sent to a mental hospital, where he spends every night in torment. It's just Qin Yuchi's revenge, the punishment he deserves. As his breathing stops, Lin Shu remembers the hatred in Qin Yuchi's eyes, the way he looked at him as if he were filth in the mud. Suddenly, everything seems bleak and meaningless. As he closes his eyes, Lin Shu uses the last of his strength to whisper, “I'm letting you go, Yuchi.” - When Lin Shu opens his eyes again, he is back two years earlier, at the peak of his career, before he met Qin Yuchi. Drained by the obsession and anguish of his previous life, Lin Shu avoids every place where he might run into Qin Yuchi. He even stops handling company affairs and spends his days and nights in despair. Every day before dawn, Lin Shu drives alone to the edge of a cliff and stares blankly at the sunrise. Every day after nightfall, Lin Shu sits alone on the terrace railing, lost in the sight of the stars. No energy, no spirit, no feelings. Lin Shu doesn't want to live, but doesn't have the courage to die. Like a walking corpse, he simply waits for an accident to take him away from this world. But who could have guessed? Lin Shu doesn't go looking for the mountains, yet the mountains rise up before him. Lin Shu goes to the sea and “happens” to run into Qin Yuchi, filming by the shore. Lin Shu goes to see the northern lights and “happens” to run into Qin Yuchi, overseas for a magazine shoot. Even when Lin Shu wastes away at home, Qin Yuchi moves in next door to become his neighbor. Qin Yuchi: “Hello. Fancy seeing you again.” Lin Shu: “I'm not doing well. Goodbye.” Before sunrise, Lin Shu stands at the cliff again, placing one foot beyond its edge, right on the threshold between life and death. Suddenly, someone appears behind him and yanks him back into the world of the living. Qin Yuchi's eyes are bloodshot, his face twisted with rage. He grips Lin Shu's shoulder so tightly it hurts and grits out, “Lin Shu, if you insist on using those dirty tricks to love me, then this time I'll play along until the end. Go ahead and try dying!” Looking at that familiar “hateful” look in Qin Yuchi's eyes, Lin Shu feels at peace. He smiles, though it looks more like a grimace. “I was wrong before. I'm sorry.” Lin Shu turns his head away and pulls free of Qin Yuchi's hand. - Qin Yuchi once thought Lin Shu was the person he had the most reason to hate. But when Lin Shu turns to bones and ashes and disappears from the world, Qin Yuchi presses a hand to his heart, aching as if stabbed by a knife, and only then realizes that he loves Lin Shu too. Previous life: Cold, taciturn top x obsessive, unhinged bottom This life: Obsessive, rabid-dog movie-star top x depressed, checked-out, emo CEO bottom 1. Both leads are reborn at the start. One-on-one, both are virgins, happy ending, not a groveling-and-redemption story. The plot is extremely dramatic; the leads are hopeless romantics and both are crazy. 2. The top is injured after being reborn and loses some of his memories, which gradually return later. 3. In their previous life, the bottom aggressively pursued the top's love. The top didn't send the bottom to a mental hospital; there are many misunderstandings. They love only each other from beginning to end, love each other madly and helplessly, and would die for each other. Blurb for “This Time, I'll Be the One to Give Up on You”: Zhu Nan becomes a kept lover, someone at others' mercy. The cruel irony is that his sugar daddy is his first love. Ten years ago, Wei Zhaoxing left without a word, leaving Zhu Nan alone outside the airport, dazed in the afterglow of sunset. Ten years later, Wei Zhaoxing suddenly reappears and insists that the Zhu family send Zhu Nan over to the Wei family. Zhu Nan thinks that as an adopted son and a lowly actor, he's destined to be someone's dependent anyway. It makes no difference which family he goes to. Even though Wei Zhaoxing is a former lover, Zhu Nan knows how to keep his distance. On his first day in the Wei home, Zhu Nan keeps his distance. He chooses the smallest room in the house, one without sunlight and full of damp, but safe enough. Wei Zhaoxing frowns. “Go sleep in my bedroom.” Zhu Nan politely declines. “No, thank you. I appreciate the offer, sir.” Later, everyone says Wei Zhaoxing is about to get engaged. Zhu Nan keeps his distance and packs his pitifully few belongings in the middle of the night, only to be caught by Wei Zhaoxing. Wei Zhaoxing snatches the luggage and grips his wrist, eyes blazing as he asks, “Zhu Nan, what am I to you?” Zhu Nan answers without hesitation. “My sugar daddy.” He once treasured a fallen star, holding it in his hands, only to be scorched by its fiery light and left in agony. So he won't make that mistake again. - Wei Zhaoxing spends ten years finally gaining control of the Wei family. He can have anything he wants at the drop of a hat. But the only thing he truly wants is a clingy kid named Zhu Nan. But times change, and even a clingy kid grows up. He wants Zhu Nan to sleep in his bedroom, but Zhu Nan would rather curl up in a cramped little room. He wants Zhu Nan to call him “big brother,” but Zhu Nan will only address him stiffly as “sir.” Even after filming wraps, Zhu Nan would rather stay on set with nothing to do than go home and see him. No matter what Wei Zhaoxing does, even when he pins Zhu Nan against the wall, Zhu Nan doesn't react. He doesn't even get angry, like a pool of dead water that no longer ripples. In the end, Wei Zhaoxing has no other choice. He takes out a photo of them at eighteen and asks in a low, pleading voice, “Tell me, Zhu Nan. What do I have to do for us to go back to how we were then?” The boy in the old photograph is bright and carefree. Zhu Nan stares blankly at the old photo. At last, he reacts, looking Wei Zhaoxing in the eye for the first time, his gaze filled with years of resentment. “We can't go back, Wei Zhaoxing. You were the one who gave up on me first.” You were the one who gave up on me first. So this time, I'll be the one to give up on you. A gradually despairing, unhinged top x an indifferent, clear-eyed actor bottom One-on-one, both are virgins, happy ending Plenty of misunderstandings They only love each other from beginning to end Theme: Never give up; keep pursuing the dawn