A Chef Who Can't Tell Fortunes Isn't a Good Celestial Master [Metaphysics]

[Next up: Raising a Demon God in a Monster School Novel; The Divine-Pen Toddler Goes Viral for Her Art] Fu Wan transmigrated to the Mystic Sect while pregnant. After becoming a great master of the occult, she somehow transmigrated back, only to accidentally bind herself to her toddler's Food System. A food livestream shop appeared on a short-video platform. It was a street-food stall that only opened late at night. At first, viewers saw the gorgeous, ethereal-looking streamer with a child and assumed Fu Wan was playing the sympathy card, relying on her looks to sell food. But Fu Wan served all kinds of dishes, with a menu that changed every night depending on her mood. Prices were up to chance, but outrageously high. Viewers were shocked and furious: With prices like that, she'll be out of business in no time! Then the viewers saw this: Diner 1: A couple who had been unable to conceive for years tearfully explained that someone had buried the souls of six dead fetuses in their home in a formation to steal their chance at pregnancy. Fu Wan: "A bowl of braised beef noodles costs 1,888. I'll also file a complaint with the Underworld on your behalf and send the souls to the Netherworld, free of charge." The couple, overjoyed to finally be expecting: "Chef Fu's prices are so reasonable!" Diner 2: A wealthy CEO's father mourned his only son, who had been in a coma for two months after a car accident. Fu Wan: "His soul was simply detained. Order now for just 88,888, and I'll throw in a little paper figurine to guide his soul back into his body." Watching his son wake up, the CEO exclaimed: "Master Fu is truly a divine chef!" Diner 3: An actress whose parents died on her birthday. Fu Wan: "The yin-yang hot pot is on sale tonight for just 188,000. Your parents will join you for a night of fun." The actress, finally free of years of regret, wept with joy: "My parents said Chef Fu's food is the best in the Underworld!" Viewers: ? Wait, Chef Fu's side gig is being a great master of the occult?! More and more diners from all over the country lined up at Fu Wan's late-night street stall. Her delivery shop rose to the top of the rankings, and her little one was raking in the money. The meal came with peachwood chopsticks to ward off evil, napkins printed with peace talismans, and even little ghost-repelling gifts with delivery orders. Viewers said Fu Wan's after-meal service would crush the entire food industry. Fu Wan let out a long sigh: My main job is being a chef. Being an occult master is just my side gig. * Fu Wan's late-night street stall grew more and more popular, drawing countless customers away from the food street just across the wall. Everyone knew the food street belonged to the Shen Group, and they worried for Fu Wan and her little one. One late night, a red-faced second-generation rich kid from the Shen family climbed out of a luxury car and charged furiously toward Fu Wan's stall. Everyone turned pale: Chef Fu, run! The rich kid dropped to his knees with a thud and wailed: "Master Fu, my grandfather's hundredth birthday is coming up. Please come cook for my family." Fu Wan calmly tossed her wok without answering. The little one beside her raised a hand and said: "My mom says cooking a private meal outside the shop costs extra." [Original blurb: May 10, 2022. Revised: December 15, 2023. Screenshot saved.] Coming soon: Raising a Demon God in a Monster School Novel Sang Man discovered she was the only human in a monster-noble school novel. She tried to seduce the golden-retriever dog demon, secretly plucked all the feathers from the peacock-spirit heroine, and was eventually tossed to a wolf demon by the male lead to have her blood drained. Sang Man: ... They really don't do a single human thing (literally). Luckily, no one had realized that the monster bloodlines within them were quietly awakening. To save her own skin, Sang Man went to the Dragon God Temple to get a talisman and made an important decision: She would cling to the leg of the powerful big shot she'd just met. Sang Man: Everyone else hasn't awakened yet, but he can already send his voice across a distance. He must be a big shot! It was only later that Sang Man realized the big shot was perfect in every way, except that he was a particularly chuunibyou lunatic. Sang Man: "The peacock heroine insists on holding a campus beauty pageant, and she wants me to come in last." The big shot said haughtily: "She's just an ugly bird. I shall capture a phoenix for you." Sang Man: "The ribs in the cafeteria were amazing today, but a bunch of dog-demon underclassmen ate every last scrap of bone QAQ." The big shot said coldly: "They dare steal your food? When I emerge from seclusion, I shall kill them for you." Sang Man: "The fox-spirit heartthrob confessed to me and told me to think it over." The big shot sneered: "It is cold here beneath this mountain, and I am in need of a fox-fur cloak." Sang Man and the big shot agreed to meet in person after the college entrance exams. But on the day of the exam, a little monster locked Sang Man inside her home, with only ten minutes left before the exam began! A black-haired man with hair cascading like a waterfall descended from the sky, transforming into a giant silver-white dragon shimmering with icy light. Its tail smashed through the iron window and landed beside Sang Man's feet, gently rubbing against her ankle. He said nonchalantly: "Get on. I'll take you to the exam site." Sang Man: "???" Wait, this is how you show up for our first meeting? That day, the hot searches on Weibo exploded: #DivineDragonMayHaveDescendedToTheWorld# #RepostThisDivineDragonAndYouCanGetIntoTsinghuaOrPekingUniversity# #DivineDragonAppearsAtCollegeEntranceExamSitePossiblyPhotoshopped# After the college entrance exams, monsters ran rampant across China, and the government urgently established the Monster Management Bureau. The original male and female leads were forced to go to the bureau to get their monster ID cards. As soon as they walked in, they saw Sang Man, the former schoolwide demon, sitting in the lap of a long silver-white dragon. "Get in line if you want to register." The original leads were stunned: ...So this is the only human director of the Monster Management Bureau? * The Taiji Sect urgently summoned the leaders of the great immortal sects to discuss the Demon God who had been suppressed beneath Wugou Mountain for five hundred years and was now violently attacking his seal. If Cang Lin, the Demon God, emerged, he would surely raze the Six Realms. On the day Cang Lin broke out of seclusion, countless elders from the immortal sects blocked his way, shouting: "Demon God, even if we must sacrifice our lives for the Dao, we will defend the Six Realms to the death!" Cang Lin: "Get lost. I'm going to meet my Dao companion in person!" The elders of the immortal sects: ??? Wait, the Demon God broke through his seal just to find a partner? - Cang Lin had been sealed at the bottom of the filthiest mountain. For a thousand years, his long life had never known a glimmer of light. Until one day, a girl's excited voice rang through the silent mountain: "Big shot, want to date online?" Theme: Punish evil and promote good, and build a better new society.