A Spy Who Doesn't Want to Be a Poet Isn't a Good Spy

Going premium on June 9. Thank you, dear readers, for your support! When Ishikawa Hajime was on the brink of death, he was bound to a [Poet Development System]. To stay alive, he had to earn either other people's [Hatred] or their [Affection]. But what was the big deal? He was the son of a powerful underworld figure. All his dad had to do was step in And the next second, his old man bundled him up and shipped him off to Japan, where he didn't know a soul. Ishikawa Hajime: Fine, whatever. And so, a sheltered mobster's son who knew nothing about the world was suddenly dropped into the organization, throwing his weight around because his father was in charge of the American branch. Gin, accosted face-to-face and teased with terrible poetry the moment they met: ... Vodka, handed an incomprehensible poetry invitation while his boss was right there: ?! Bourbon, strapped to a bomb, showered in roses when it exploded, and then forced to listen to a string of bizarre poems: ??? [Give him something to do already.] The organization's members, fed up with the young master's harassment, lodged a protest. And so Ishikawa Hajime was sent to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department as an undercover consultant. Looking at the unfamiliar faces around the department, Ishikawa Hajime smiled faintly. Look at that, he's found some new victims (crossed out). And then Officer A: Huh? This is for me? You're so enthusiastic. But poems like this might give people the wrong idea, like that you really hate them or something. (laughs) Officer B: Aren't you going to do anything about the rumors? You're the star of the scandal, after all. Officer C: (terrified) (tries to run, then realizes they're cornered) Colleague D: So this is what falling in love feels like. (certain) Kid E: You confessed with something like this? Wait, why are you even bothering elementary schoolers?! A few tips before reading: * The protagonist's loyalties are somewhat murky. Think of him as a melon-field badger, taking a bite out of whichever side he happens to be near. * It's a slice-of-life story with a lighthearted plot. Basically, it mixes in jokes that may not actually be funny. * There will be shipping and a CP forum discussing misunderstandings, but the protagonist has no romantic pairing!!! * My headcanon is extensive. The five-person group survives, and some out-of-character moments are inevitable (important). * Slivovitz is a plum brandy. It can also be called Slivitz. Cover by Arashi. Theme: Finding a purpose in life while lost along the way