Apprehending Patients on a Dating Show

[An immature, goofy comedy. Just here for a laugh]

Shu Qiu was invited to appear on a dating reality show, only to spot one of his patients on set!

Having a patient there wasn't the problem. The problem was...

He ran a psychiatric hospital!!

After a long thirty seconds of consideration, Shu Qiu decided he couldn't just sit by and watch his livelihood go up in flames on the show, so he would help this aloof, multiple-personality patient keep the truth under wraps.

Word got out that the dating show would feature a domineering CEO, and viewers flocked to watch. But then

A man in a bespoke suit, the million-yuan Rolex on his wrist gleaming with the aura of a big spender, picked up a discarded water bottle and stuffed it into a ragged woven sack, then flashed a graceful smile of hard-earned prosperity.

Shu Qiu: !!!

He raced over, trying to turn things around. Grabbing the patient's hand, eyes brimming with tears, he said: "A domineering CEO who can bend with the times to make a living! I'm in love!"

Viewers: So this is how rich people build their fortunes? It's so down-to-earth?

During the recording of an individual vlog, the host asked: "What's your dream?"

Guest One: To become a world champion.

Guest Two: To become the richest person in the world.

Guest Three: To become a leading expert in my field.

Guest Seven: To collect enough plastic bottles to pay my tuition.

Viewers in the livestream: ???

Shu Qiu pinched his thigh hard and burst into tears: "Successful entrepreneurs have to remember the hard times and stay humble!"

Viewers: Amazing. Freshly simmered motivational chicken soup. How a poor boy can achieve financial freedom.

Netizens: Well, would you look at that! This episode gave us an absolutely perfect couple. They're so freaking sweet. I ship it, I ship it!!

Shu Qiu, who'd worked so hard to help his patient, cried out in protest: "You've got it wrong! We're like father and son, really! We're not a couple!!"

At the show's wrap party, just as Shu Qiu felt his job was done and he could bow out, Zhong Jinnan, looking ice-cold, cornered him in the emergency stairwell.

"Didn't you swear you'd cure me?"

Shu Qiu was confused. "Uh, what? Aren't you cured?"

The man's gaze grew darker, like a drowning man clutching at a lifeline. "But I think about you so much every day that I'm going crazy..."

[Guide to Multiple Personalities]

1. The top truly has multiple personalities, but he'll be cured later.

2. Even someone with multiple personalities can't escape falling in love. Watch him turn into a jealous monster.

3. His personalities switch without warning, so surprises and shocks can happen at any time.

4. The bottom isn't the top's attending physician, so there's no ethical issue.

5. Most of the professional knowledge comes from Google, so don't scrutinize it. If you do, you're right.

Next up: "Go Ahead, Try Finding One". Please add it to your favorites!

You You is the campus beauty everyone knows, soft and cute without realizing it. All the girls at school compete to be his mom-fans and big-sister fans, eager to find him a wife.

Then he says he's gay, and a total top.

Mom-fans and big-sister fans: Look at that face and that tiny body of yours! Do you really mean that? You should take a good look at Bai Huiqing. Now that's what you'd call an alpha top!!

As A University's campus heartthrob and the golden boy of the sports department, Bai Huiqing is called walking testosterone by all the girls on campus, thanks to his impressive height and looks.

The day You You moves into Bai Huiqing's dorm, his mom-fans earnestly tell Bai Huiqing: "Brother Bai, please take good care of our baby. Having him live with you is the safest option we could ask for."

As everyone knows, Bai Huiqing is a homophobic straight guy. He once publicly posted on the school forum that he didn't like men, and if another guy confessed to him, he'd beat him up.

Bai Huiqing snorts when he hears that. "As long as he doesn't get any ideas he shouldn't."

At their first meeting, Bai Huiqing has a lollipop in his mouth.

He thinks he needs to establish his authority and lay down some rules for this kid.

When the boy appears, his face is a little pale as he asks pitifully, "Could I hold your hand?"

His doe-like eyes glisten with tears. He's so pretty, it makes people stupid.

Bai Huiqing: ...Hold it, hold it! You can have my whole arm!!!

Bai Huiqing keeps his promise and takes You You under his wing like a kid brother.

You You forgets to bring clothes into the shower, so Brother Bai brings them over. He twists his ankle in PE, so Brother Bai carries him. You You wants to put on hand cream, so Brother Bai rubs it in. Winter comes, and You You complains that his hands are freezing, so Brother Bai even warms up his bed for him...

His friend teases him: "Brother Bai, this doesn't look right. Which one of you is the big brother and which one's the little brother?"

You You blushes and explains: "I'm the little brother, I'm the little brother. Brother Bai is just helping the less fortunate."

Then one day, You You happily tells his male mom-fan he wants to start dating and has found a target.

Bai Huiqing grabs him by the waist and grits his teeth. "Go ahead, try finding one."

That very day, a post appears on the school forum: I've been growing this cabbage for a year. Should I eat it today or tomorrow?

[Guide to Growing Cabbage]

1. Campus romance, one-on-one, both leads are each other's first.

2. [A ballet dancer bottom with touch starvation x a walking hormonal top]

3. Like Jiang Taigong fishing, waiting for the willing to take the bait.

Premise: The world isn't that good, but it isn't that bad either.