Ordered to Insult People

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Xie Zhiwei was an overworked office drone who had put up with his idiot boss for three whole years.

On the day he quit, he finally stopped pretending.

He tore into his boss’s work skills and people skills, letting loose for a full twenty minutes without repeating himself.

Just as he reached the climax of his rant, his vision went black

When he opened his eyes again, he was kneeling on the floor of the imperial study. Looking up, he saw the emperor in his dragon robe.

The emperor smiled. “I admire your eloquence. I happen to need an investigating censor. The job is yours.”

Xie Zhiwei: “...”

Xie Zhiwei never expected that after he transmigrated, he’d get to live a life where he could curse out his coworkers whenever he wanted and talk back to his boss whenever he pleased. In one word: satisfying.

With the emperor’s blessing, Xie Zhiwei found all sorts of ways to put people in their place.

The officials at court seethed but didn’t dare speak up. Everyone knew the emperor had authorized Xie Zhiwei to do it. Besides, they couldn’t out-insult him.

Later, Xie Zhiwei met Pei Dinglan.

Pei Dinglan was a general, renowned for his military achievements and decisive ruthlessness. That was what everyone at court believed.

As it turned out, the moment Pei Dinglan opened his mouth, he was a chatterbox. “You’re Xie Zhiwei, the guy with the foul mouth? I heard you made Lord Wang cry. Could you help me cuss someone out? Wait, don’t go, I’m not done! Do civil officials insult people in five-character or seven-character lines? I think invoking their ancestors has more impact. We should trade tips sometime!”

Xie Zhiwei: “...”

How could a general like this even exist?

After that, two new sights became a fixture at court.

One was Xie Zhiwei, all snide remarks and barbed compliments, striking at people’s hearts without ever using a dirty word.

The other was Pei Dinglan, who spoke without thinking and never stopped talking, able to ramble from someone’s ancestors eighteen generations back to their grandchildren not yet born.

At first, the two of them traded insults. Everyone thought they could finally relax. But then the two got together, and even ended up in the same bed.

From then on, the officials at court trembled at the mere mention of them. Xie Zhiwei would finish insulting someone, and Pei Dinglan would pick up where he left off. Once Pei Dinglan was done, Xie Zhiwei would deliver the final blow.

The officials were all miserable, but the emperor was delighted. In his great joy, he bestowed a plaque on them.

[A match made in heaven, a pair of sweet-talkers who curse as one.]

Xie Zhiwei looked at the plaque. “Is His Majesty complimenting us?”

Pei Dinglan put an arm around Xie Zhiwei’s shoulder. “Aw, he didn’t add ‘A fine pair of foul mouths’ as the couplet. It feels like something’s missing.”

Xie Zhiwei: “...”

Coming soon: Into the Evening Court

The beautiful, delicate prince bottom × the perverted, obsessive general top

Jiang Xuemu was the most unusual “princess” in the empire. In truth, he was a prince, but because of his frail health, he had been raised like a girl. Doted on by the emperor and indulged by his older siblings, he lived a wild and carefree life.

That is, until his father assigned Pei Shuo, the notorious borderland general, to be his physical training instructor.

Jiang Xuemu pulled out his tried-and-true tricks of pouting and pleading. “General Pei, I’m dizzy. I need a rest.”

Pei Shuo pinched his thin ankle. “Your Highness, you’ve only taken three steps.”

…

Everyone in the palace said that General Pei was the only one who could keep the young prince in line.

Only Jiang Xuemu knew what a pervert the man was.

He made Jiang walk one extra step, but kept a steady hand at his waist. He complained that Jiang’s cries of exhaustion were annoying, then turned around and silenced him with a kiss.

Later, on the bed, Jiang Xuemu’s eyes were red, his waist limp and his legs trembling. He slapped Pei Shuo. “Pei Shuo! You’re not human!”

The man licked Jiang’s sweat-damp palm, his eyes frighteningly dark. “You look even prettier when you hit me than when you cry.”

“Cry louder, Your Highness. I’ll work even harder.”

Theme: The overworked office drone finally stands tall.