A Vampire's Guide to Surviving Nuclear Winter

A guide to helping vampires make it through a nuclear winter: 1. A coffin lined with velvet Black notebook's comment: What on earth do you have against beds? 2. A quiet, peaceful place to sleep Green notebook's comment: The morgue sure is quiet... 3. A fresh blood pond that's very resistant to drinking (crossed out) Red notebook's comment: Hey! You originally wrote fish pond! At the end, Shen Wei writes a summary: If none of the above works, then, regrettably, the author advises all fellow creatures who read this guide: Do not wake up. Keep hibernating, or you'll have to save the world. Excerpt from A Vampire's Guide to Surviving Nuclear Winter . Shen Wei is the last vampire in the world. Once, to hide his identity, he worked hard at night and slept dutifully during the day. He never did anything harmful, becoming an inspirational young vampire who did his best to fit into society. But the church caught him anyway. After being exposed to the sun, he was sealed away, and even the savings he'd painstakingly set aside for a coffin were confiscated. Fifty years later, when he wakes up, he finds that the world outside has changed completely. Not only are black rain disasters raging and mutated creatures running rampant... "When the last vampire in the world dies, a great snowfall should cover the Ruined City." Ignoring the vampire's dangerous glare, Xiang Xiaoyuan says, "Do you think this change is better?" "Lies." Shen Wei's face is expressionless. "When I really died, they were all grinning from ear to ear." . Vampires can't eat human food, but Shen Wei discovers that there's an indirect way to do it: if he wants to taste a certain dish, he can drink the blood of someone who has just eaten it. So Shen Wei flips through a cookbook and murmurs, "What should we have for lunch today?" Jiang Lu pauses while changing his clothes. "We've already had potatoes, broccoli, and canned peaches. Isn't there anything fresher?" Jiang Lu presses a hand against his stomach, already full of potatoes, broccoli, and canned peaches, and frowns. "I really want to eat meat." "..." Shen Wei, completely unaware of the danger, says, "How about we open another can of luncheon meat?" "...Sure." Jiang Lu narrows his eyes. "Go get it." Shen Wei eagerly goes to fetch it, but before he can even reach the door, someone yanks him back and pins him face-down across the table. Wasn't he supposed to eat luncheon meat? The helpless vampire doesn't quite understand. Of course they can eat it. Jiang Lu's Adam's apple bobs as he lowers his head and breathes against Shen Wei's ear. "I'm more than happy to serve the people." Human weapon x vampire beauty Theme: Though disasters are merciless, humanity is full of love