It's Not Easy to Transmigrate, Squeak Squeak Sighs

[Advance Notice: My upcoming novels, "A Wretched Sect, Capable of Anything" and "The Medicine Sect's Senior Sister in the Stars," are eagerly awaiting readers. See below for their blurbs.] Blurb: The sweet little Xun Zhizhi only realized she had transmigrated into a cultivation-level-up novel after finding Ye Qiuge at the bottom of a cliff. She had become the male lead's standard-issue sidekick, a treasure-hunting mouse who would scour the world for all kinds of rare treasures with him, send him soaring to the heights of success, and, after she finished her final part in the story, be crushed to death by his enemy, becoming the catalyst for his advancement. He would overcome every hardship, eliminate every obstacle, and ascend to immortality. No! Now that she'd finally gotten a second chance at life, she didn't want to die. So, Ye Qiuge, could you please try a little harder? Ye Qiuge had a little notebook titled "The Right Way to Raise a Treasure-Hunting Mouse": 1. Feed it rare treasures to help it cultivate and take human form. 2. Dress it up in pretty little skirts so it looks adorable. 3. Be so weak, pitiful, and helpless that it can't bear to leave you. 4. ... To raise his treasure-hunting mouse properly, Ye Qiuge refused to join the greatest sword sect under heaven and instead joined the Beast Taming Sect. He didn't even try to contract a more powerful spirit beast. The rare treasures he'd worked so hard to find were stuffed straight into the treasure-hunting mouse's mouth, and even the enemy who was supposed to crush it to death was crushed by Ye Qiuge first. Xun Zhizhi was feeling a lot of pressure. Ye Qiuge got hurt again today. He needs Zhizhi's kisses and hugs to get better. Did Ye Qiuge's enemies show up today? The whole mountain is crawling with that male lead's enemies. Did Zhizhi take human form today? Not yet! Character design authorized by: Zhenjun, artist at Shuimo Danqing Mouse illustration by: icemoon [Advance Notice No. 1]: "A Wretched Sect, Capable of Anything" is eagerly awaiting readers in my author column. Wen Que transmigrated to the cultivation world and gained an extraordinary sect: Her master is an immortal, revered by all. Her senior brother was born with a sword bone and forged himself into a sword. Her senior sister is peerlessly beautiful and follows the path of music to enlightenment. Her junior brother is pure as ice and jade, and has healed countless people. Her junior sister is a wealthy young lady from a prominent family and a descendant of royalty. And Wen Que is the useless third disciple, stuck between heaven and earth, who gets struck by lightning even when she's practicing at home. Of course, only after being jolted awake by lightning did she discover that every member of her supposedly extraordinary sect was a walking disaster, and that none of them would meet a good end. This doomed sect is bound to fall apart sooner or later. Before Wen Que could sort out the details that had come to her in a lightning strike, she spotted her flirtatious, faithless junior sister parading around with the handsome young man she'd just "snatched" and brought up the mountain. Unable to stop herself, Wen Que clutched her head and complained inwardly: [We're doomed! My junior sister is such a fickle heartbreaker! Why does she snatch every man she sees? Does she know he's a prince from the neighboring demon realm? They're tearing the place apart looking for him! They'll be coming to our door the day after tomorrow!] Junior Sister: "Wen Jiujiu, say that again?" Wen Que: Huh? The disciples of Venerable Luofeng of Wuyafeng Peak, in the Tianyang Sect, were all extraordinary talents. Only the third disciple, whose talent was mediocre, was often forgotten, as if Wuyafeng Peak had no such person. Even Venerable Luofeng himself often forgot he had this disciple. The other disciples rarely noticed this junior or senior sister either, until one day they discovered they could hear Wen Que's thoughts, thoughts that had a great deal to do with them. [Ahhh, Second Senior Sister, don't go! If you go down the mountain this time, you won't come back! That scum of a fiance will stab you to death on your wedding night and use your death to attain enlightenment! Ahhh!] Second Senior Sister, who was about to leave, stumbled. What? The next day, Second Senior Sister beat her useless fiance half to death, took the "compensation" he gave her, and sauntered back to the sect, generously sharing most of it with Wen Que. Wen Que: Huh? Junior Brother was cheerfully about to share the pastries his childhood sweetheart had sent with his fellow disciples when he heard Wen Que mutter inwardly. [If I remember right, these pastries are leftovers from a banquet at his childhood sweetheart's home. They've been sitting around for days. Surely they're past their expiration date?] Junior Brother: ?? [And if I remember right, that banquet was held to arrange a betrothal for his childhood sweetheart. When Junior Brother goes back next time, she'll dump him?] Junior Brother: !!! A few days later, Junior Brother returned with a pale face, but clear-eyed and at peace. He handed Wen Que a storage bag full of pills and spirit stones. "Third Senior Sister, you're the only one in this world who's good to me!" Wen Que: Huh? When Senior Brother finally returned to the sect, his usually expressionless face held the faintest smile. He had found his long-lost family, and even his eyes had softened. Seeing how delighted Senior Brother looked, Wen Que's heart trembled. [Poor Senior Brother has no idea his family knew where he was all along. They were the ones who abandoned him back then. Now they've come looking for him because they want his sword bone, so they can cut it out and transplant it into his useless younger brother!] Senior Brother: "..." Not long after, Senior Brother returned to the sect with blood staining his hair. He tossed Wen Que a storage bag. "There's enough in here for you to forge a decent life-bound sword." Wen Que stared at him in confusion. "Senior Brother, did you just rob someone?" Senior Brother nodded. "Yes." Wen Que: "But Senior Brother, I'm not a sword cultivator!" Senior Brother: "..." Even Venerable Luofeng, who spent all year in the forbidden grounds behind the mountain, grieving over the past, heard the thoughts of his nominal third disciple: [Ah, Master is crying again. Should I tell him that Mistress was reincarnated ages ago, and that no forbidden spell will bring her back?] Venerable Luofeng: ?? [If Master keeps secretly crying like this, Mistress has probably already married someone else, hasn't she?] Venerable Luofeng: !!! Venerable Luofeng burst out of seclusion and swept away like the wind, scooping up the muttering Wen Que as he went. Wen Que: Huh? As the least noticeable disciple at Wuyafeng Peak of the Tianyang Sect, Wen Que often thought: Without me, this doomed sect is bound to fall apart sooner or later. The sect's walking disasters: You're absolutely right! [Advance Notice No. 2]: "The Medicine Sect's Senior Sister in the Stars" is eagerly awaiting readers in my author column. Yun Wanwan, the Medicine Sect's senior sister, worked hard for a thousand years before finally attaining immortality amid birdsong, fragrant flowers, auspicious clouds, and shining spiritual light. When she opened her eyes again, she had become the cannon-fodder female character in a storybook, abandoned in a terrifying forest on a lost planet. Yun Wanwan: This must be an illusion! If I'd used the wrong posture to ascend, I wouldn't mind trying again! The lost planet was covered in mutated plants and ferocious beasts, but it also had abundant spiritual energy and opportunities everywhere. For Yun Wanwan, born with a Heavenly Wood spiritual root and an innate spirit body, it was nothing short of a cultivation paradise. Yun Wanwan even thought she could ascend to immortality on this planet a second time. Then a reality show about interstellar exploration landed on the lost planet and discovered a hidden paradise deep in the terrifying forest. At that moment, viewers across the stars witnessed a group of mutated plants singing and dancing in the courtyard of a little wooden house: The corpse flower and the mushrooms dance, the mushrooms dance, one, two, one. Meanwhile, celebrities and powerful figures from the Interstellar Empire and the Alliance, not to mention the infamous leader of the interstellar pirates and countless others, were all behaving themselves outside a waist-high fence, sincerely lining up one by one to collect number tickets from the vines of a devil vine. Was this world just too bizarre, or had the livestream satellites been hacked? Or were the poisonous mushrooms dancing so potent that they could cause hallucinations even through a screen? Powerful figures, what's gotten into all of you? This is a world of despair, where pollution is everywhere and humanity's living space has shrunk drastically. People have to wear special masks whenever they go outside, and can breathe freely only inside safe shelters. Plants and animals have mutated and can no longer live in harmony with humans. It seems there is no light left in humanity's future. Then one day, they witnessed a miracle brought about by Yun Wanwan. Interstellar viewers: Damn it! Why can't we reserve a spot through the Star Network? What? Neither the Alliance nor the Empire has a regular route there? You've got to be kidding! There are still places the Star Network doesn't cover? This is the lost planet, and it's Yun Wanwan's hidden paradise. She is the planet's ruler. Theme: Create a beautiful life with a grateful heart.