On the day she learned she was pregnant, Empress Zhu Duo received news that Emperor Li Chengze had ordered the Zhu tribe slaughtered. She was devastated.
For seven years, she had managed the household for you, treated your concubines with kindness, cultivated good relations with the wives of your officials, and secured the full support of the Zhu tribe to help you claim the throne.
Once the rabbit is dead, the hounds are cooked; once the bow is put away, the birds are gone. If that's how it is, then I, Laze Cangzhu, princess of the grasslands, can sit on the throne too!
The comedic version
Her guards sent word that the emperor had ordered the general to exterminate the Zhu tribe. Zhu Duo didn't believe it. Her husband couldn't even approve a memorial, let alone order the slaughter of the Zhu tribe. She hurriedly told her maid, "Go tell His Majesty that I'm not feeling well."
When Li Chengze arrived, Zhu Duo dismissed the palace attendants. Then she went straight up to him and smacked him on the back of the head several times. "Explain to me what happened to the Zhu tribe."
Li Chengze immediately buried his face in Zhu Duo's chest and sobbed, "Duo Duo, the court is so scary. I don't want to be emperor anymore."
Zhu Duo slapped him again. "Don't change the subject. Tell me, what do you mean, you ordered the Zhu tribe wiped out?"
The emperor said aggrievedly, "Our Dabao is the crown prince, and those ministers kept saying the maternal relatives had too much power, so they wanted me to rein them in. But they're my father-in-law and mother-in-law. I didn't know what to do, so I wrote the general a letter telling him to stage a mock battle with your father. Don't worry, no one was hurt. Aren't I clever?"
Li Chengze was fishing for praise.
Zhu Duo was speechless. "Are you a pig?"
Li Chengze retorted, "Am I not?" He remembered that when Zhu Duo had first married him, she called him a pig every day and complained about how much he ate. In the end, she ate even more than he did.
Zhu Duo was speechless again.
That afternoon, Zhu Duo summoned all the imperial consorts to the Jiaofang Hall while reviewing memorials. Looking at the group of big, burly "lovely young ladies" sitting neatly on the benches, she asked, "Come on, who gave His Majesty the idea?"
A rough-looking hand timidly went up.
"Who else?"
Several more hands rose. Not one person was left out.
Zhu Duo: Are you all sick? Did a pig eat your brains?
A decisive, strong-willed heroine and a timid, pampered hero who lives off his wife.
Theme: Women should stand on their own.
