Am I the Only Useless One in the Whole Company?!

After returning from the post-apocalyptic wasteland, all you want is to be an ordinary office drone, with paid leave.

Every month, there are a few days when you become weak and powerless, and have no choice but to take sick leave.

Disasters often strike the city on those days.

But a masked hero always shows up to save people, so you don't have to get involved.

Your boss always messages you while you're on sick leave: "Xiao Jiu, are you there? Are you there?"

You reply forty hours later, "What's up?" He responds immediately: "Nothing, it's handled. Get some rest :)"

Your new boss dismantles the elevator with his bare hands. Terrifying.

But he drives you around and pours your tea, dark circles under his eyes. You spit little tomato juice all over his face, and he just sighs before handing you another one.

Oh, and he's good-looking. (Very quietly.)

Your office life is peaceful and uneventful, until a masked hero's cape turns up at the company, and you discover...

Your thoroughly ordinary workplace has been infiltrated by a mysterious celestial master, a famous cult leader, the head of the world's largest intelligence organization, the strongest fighter in the Global Anomaly Bureau, the darknet's most wanted fugitive...

They're all keeping secrets from one another, pretending to be ordinary people.

You: Σ(°口°||) Am I the only useless person in this entire company?!

"You clearly said &*%$..."

A faint, distorted scream comes from the corner. You quickly sprout transparent tentacles and quietly pin it back in place, then wipe away the eerie claw marks:

"I saw It, It is &*%$█"

"█hungry#[email protected]'t██devour...save███!!"

Never mind.

Everyone takes such good care of you. It's another lovely day. ^^

*

A street interview plays on TV: "Who is the superhero?"

Your boss takes a sip of tea and looks at the empty desk. Every month, during the few days when the superhero appears, Xiao Jiu takes sick leave.

We get it. Of course we should accommodate his work!

[Top Secret] Contact Protocol for the Source of Contamination, "Heaven's Retribution"

1. To prevent a global contamination surge, keep it in good spirits. Do not let it experience intense negative emotions.

2. Contact may catalyze awakening and enhance abilities. A rotating schedule is proposed.

3. During its monthly regression period, it is weak and easily stressed. Make sure it is fed and kept warm.

4. Only authorized personnel ** may carry out procedure 3. Others must not interfere!

Recorded by: Special Investigations Officer ** (undercover)

Investigator's Secret Notes

- Turns out it's a little cherry jellyfish. Its venom smells like cream liqueur.

- So many tentacles. It wraps around you and sticks all over you with a gurgle. Adorable.

- So soft, and it's actually translucent. 0-0

"I once thought gods were nothing more than powerful monsters, until I met my salvation."

A food-loving big boss bottom who keeps messing things up whenever he tries to work

A doting boss top who loves teasing little monsters, but has to soothe them when he goes too far

Theme: Work hard and live well