The Sword Spirit Doesn't Want to Work Hard

Song Changli transmigrated into a book, becoming the spirit of Changli Sword, the heroine's bonded spiritual sword in a female-led cultivation novel about rising through the ranks. Song Changli thought of how, over the next several decades, the sword would shield the heroine from blades, hack down monsters, and brave wind and rain by her side. It would be damaged time and again in secret realms of all sizes, patched up over and over, and in the end narrowly avoid being shattered and losing its spirit. At the thought, the sword itself seemed to ache. Whoever wants to be the number one sword in the world can have the job. She wasn't about to put herself through that. Song Changli arrived at just the right time. The Sword Tomb was opening, and the heroine and a group of core disciples from Guiyuan Sword Sect had come to choose their swords. The moment the heroine reached for her, Song Changli twisted her blade, skimmed past the heroine's sleeve, and fell straight into the arms of an unremarkable disciple. Stay away from the heroine and stay safe. Song Changli was very pleased with the young disciple she'd chosen. He was handsome, came from a wealthy family, and took good care of his spiritual sword. She lounged on a phoenixwood sword rack worth a fortune, while the young disciple nourished her blade with spiritual energy every day. Life couldn't be better. Song Changli: Being a sword spirit is even more fun than I imagined. That is, until one day, Song Changli woke early from her nap and caught sight of the young disciple fresh from his bath. Wait, what was that fluffy tail sticking out beneath his snow-white nightshirt?! The great demon Yan Jiu had infiltrated Guiyuan Sword Sect. He'd only meant to see what made the sect's up-and-coming swordsmanship prodigy so extraordinary, but instead, a spiritual sword had latched onto him. And this sword was terribly fussy. It wouldn't sleep on a substandard sword rack, and if he went a day without channeling spiritual energy into it, it would whine incessantly. Yan Jiu: Good thing I've built up a hefty fortune over the years. As a great demon, I can communicate with the spiritual energy of heaven and earth. Otherwise, I couldn't even afford to keep a sword. The sword was also exceptionally lazy. He'd swung it only two hundred times, not even enough to warm up, and it was already worn out, staging an elaborate strike on the spot. Yan Jiu: Good thing demons are born strong and don't rely on external aids. If a real sword cultivator got stuck with this sword, wouldn't their path to cultivation be full of hardships? Later, a secret message arrived from the demon clan: Demon Lord, you've been at Guiyuan Sword Sect for a year now. Have you met the swordsmanship prodigy who's supposedly going to overturn the demon realm? Yan Jiu: Swordsmanship prodigy? Who? It's time to nourish my spiritual sword again. I'll reply when I have time. --Forthcoming: Why Has Grandmaster Ancestor Still Not Ascended?-- Daoist Yunhe has been stuck at the Great Ascension stage for a hundred years. Her fellow cultivators have either long since ascended to the immortal realm or died in their tribulations. She alone remains unhurried, unwilling to face her tribulation. A curious junior in the sect asked Daoist Yunhe: Grandmaster Ancestor, why haven't you ascended yet? Daoist Yunhe smiled without answering, then asked in return: Silly boy, do you know what happens to a carp that leaps through the Dragon Gate? The naive junior replied: It passes through and becomes a dragon. Yunhe shook her head with a smile. No. When a carp leaps through the Dragon Gate, it becomes a meal on an Immortal Lord's plate. The junior froze. Grandmaster Ancestor, that's not what the books say. Yunhe tapped him on the head with her folding fan. Those books are all lies, meant to fool simpletons like you. After sending off the junior, who was brimming with curiosity, Yunhe lay back on her rocking chair, crossed her legs, and went on cracking melon seeds. Ascend? She wasn't going to ascend. She'd finally waited for her cold, boring Daoist partner to ascend to the upper realm. Now she could stop studying and practicing so hard under his stern gaze. Was she tired of the good life already? * The upper realm. Immortal Lord Yuheng visited the Ascension Pool every day, but the person who should have ascended long ago never arrived. After much careful consideration, Immortal Lord Yuheng decided to descend to the lower realm and undergo a tribulation. He remembered how, before he ascended, Yunhe had sworn with tears in her eyes that she would practice diligently and try to ascend as soon as possible so they could reunite. Immortal Lord Yuheng gave a scornful laugh. Liar! Theme: Respect every way of life.