[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure] What Species Is the Captain, Anyway?

Short story, completed. A nonsensical fic full of overused jokes.

*

Melone once tried to sneak a little of Risotto's blood to make him an excellent father, only to discover, to his surprise, that the blade hidden in his palm couldn't even break the skin.

Risotto's red eyes against a black backdrop turned toward him without a trace of emotion. He slowly began sprouting a mass of tentacles from his back. Wait, tentacles???

*

An expanded version of Chapter 37 from the author's collection, "A Place to Store Ideas."

The captain is a ghoul. The setting is from Tokyo Ghoul, but you don't need to have read it to follow this story.

A short story with a happy ending for everyone except the Boss. The assassination squad's bizarre, out-of-character daily life.

*

Ghouls (source: Baidu Baike): Ghouls are a demi-human species that can only consume human flesh and liquids such as coffee. Generally, they look no different from ordinary people, but their eyes turn red (irises) and black (sclerae) when they fight or eat. These are called kakugan. Ghouls can distinguish their own kind from humans by smell. Their bodies are much stronger than human bodies, their skin is as hard as steel, and ordinary weapons cannot harm them. They also have a predatory organ called a kagune. Every ghoul's kagune is different, and their power varies.

Kagune (my own understanding): It's too much trouble to explain, so think of it roughly as black-and-red tentacles that emerge from the body's surface. Different types have different ways of attacking and defending.

Theme: Building a harmonious, friendly, warmhearted Italy.