[JoJo's Bizarre Adventure] Yoshikage Kira's Hellish Start

My name is Yoshikage Kira.

I'm not the Yoshikage Kira from this world. Funny how Funny Valentine, that guy who's always fantasizing about moving into the White House, got chosen by his counterpart in the original world and assimilated. When he activated his Stand, he sent me into the manga.

To stop me, an innocent bystander, from meeting my parallel-world counterpart and dying with him the moment we met, she, an expert at throwing her teammates under the bus, dodged fingernails that seemed to appear out of nowhere and reluctantly tossed my counterpart, along with his pink kitty, into Araki's Villa. This even more innocent, lowly office worker was holding down three jobs just to pay rent for his freeloading roommate.

The problem is, what am I supposed to do, now that I've stolen his identity?

Looking at the chubby kid in front of me, hopping mad and demanding to take away my "girlfriend," I calmly pulled out my phone.

Hello, JO ambulance? I need to go to heaven right now.

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A Yoshikage Kira from a parallel world who knows the plot, with a slight hand fetish. A non-mainstream Bo Liang Kage. No OOC, because he's not the original character at all. I ate the setting.

A first-person, snarky power fantasy. No logic, no CP.

The main setting is Parts Four and Five. In the latter half, we're off to Naples to stew octopus.

A gender-swapped President makes an appearance. Her role isn't major, so even if you haven't read Part Seven, you can enjoy this.

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My main updates are on my profile, so this one will update whenever I feel like it. Whenever I get writer's block on the other story, I come here to let loose.

Theme: Good and evil both meet their just desserts.