I Opened a Restaurant in the Immortal Realm

“Eat this beast and you won’t feel jealous. Eat that one and you’ll run like the wind.” Lian Que, a chef who has just transmigrated into the body of a cannon-fodder character, stares at the beasts before her, all identical to the ones in the Classic of Mountains and Seas, and asks herself: How did nobody ever tell me that the Classic of Mountains and Seas is actually a cookbook? Even better, Lian Que is thrilled to discover that this world has no Classic of Mountains and Seas. No one knows that these beasts are edible or that they have all kinds of benefits. She’s already unlocked the secret to getting rich! Lian Que picks up her wok and spatula again. To hell with the original plot. She’s opening a restaurant and making money! When she returns to her sect, she discovers that she isn’t the only villain. Everyone in her sect, except the heroine, is a villain too. Her master loved the heroine but could never have her, and eventually died after succumbing to his inner demon. Lian Que: “Master, how about some stir-fried Bili? It eases heartache, so you won’t have to suffer from love anymore.” After tasting the dish, her master’s inner demon finally lifts and his mind clears. He looks at Lian Que with gratitude, then makes rapid progress in his cultivation and becomes her strongest ally. The senior sister, driven by jealousy of the heroine, is abandoned by everyone and dies alone. Lian Que: “Lei! It keeps you from getting jealous! Senior Sister, have some.” With the taste lingering in her mouth, the senior sister grips Lian Que’s hand and weeps buckets. “Waaah, was I an idiot before?” From then on, she sees through the entanglements of love, devotes herself to cultivation, and becomes famous across the three realms. The saintly senior brother suffers from a painful condition caused by the infernal fire he endured while helping the heroine temper her pills. In the end, he turns evil and becomes the Demon Lord. Lian Que heads to Fire-Melting Mountain. “Senior Brother, how about some cold scallion puree? It protects you from fire.” Finally free from the torment of infernal fire, the senior brother is moved. “Where’s your restaurant, Little Junior Sister? Do you need a bodyguard?” But Yi Wuping, the handsome young man she brought back from the Eye of Zhuyin, takes her hand and says, “You said it yourself: I’m the only one who gets to be the restaurant’s security guard.” Bonus Scene: Before long, the Qingxu Sect, a pill-making sect that has a grudge against Lian Que’s sect, suddenly realizes that it’s about to be driven to bankruptcy by the newly opened Shan Hai Grand Restaurant! Qingxu Sect: “Dreamless Pills help low-level disciples stay awake and cultivate. Only 888 spirit stones each!” Lian Que: “Try deep-fried Changfu! It keeps you from sleeping, and costs only five spirit stones.” Qingxu Sect: “Heartless Pills sever love and desire, but require the heart’s blood of someone you love. Only 9,999 spirit stones each!” Lian Que: “Try stir-fried Bili! It eases heartache. Just 90 spirit stones a plate, and no one in the immortal realm will ever be heartbroken again.” Qingxu Sect: “Fire-Resistant Pills can withstand the infernal flames of the Demon Realm. They’re top-grade immortal pills, and cost 8,000 spirit stones...” Lian Que: “Try boiled Min Bird! It protects you from fire, and costs only eight spirit stones.” Qingxu Sect: Damn it! Reader’s Notes: 1. One-on-one romance, daily updates, a silly, satisfying story, and it’s sweet too! The worldbuilding is entirely made up, so please don’t nitpick. 2. No common trigger points. Please decide for yourself about anything else. Don’t message me to say you’re dropping the story. We loved each other once, so let’s just let go. 3. The beasts in this story don’t exist in real life. Please don’t relate them to real animals. Pre-release 1: Reborn and Married Off to My Stepsister’s Former Match. Please add it to your reading list! Before Song Yuexun was reborn, her stepmother arranged for her to marry a poor scholar. Song Yuexun had hoped for a quiet life, but before long, the poor scholar rose to success in the imperial exams. In time, he became a powerful minister while still young, holding sway over the court. But only Song Yuexun knew how cruel and violent he was in private, and how she had spent every day living in fear. After being reborn, she returns to the eve of her wedding. Just as Song Yuexun is racking her brain for a way to break off the engagement, her stepsister, who has also been reborn, insists on marrying the man who was Song Yuexun’s husband in her previous life. To make it happen, her stepsister even pushes Song Yuexun toward the little prince, who grew up in a life of luxury in Song Yuexun’s previous life but was considered a hopeless case. Watching her stepsister happily put on her wedding dress, Song Yuexun presses her lips together to hide her smile. Song Yuexun is once again arranged to marry Prince Yan, Xie Yaochen. His mother is out of favor, and he has no ambition. Apart from his wealth, he’s useless. On their wedding day, Xie Yaochen tells her with an expressionless face, “Behave yourself in this life. If you dream of the riches and honors of the palace, today will be the last time I enter your room.” Song Yuexun has long heard that Xie Yaochen is the best spender around, and that in the future he’ll even travel the world under imperial orders. After the hard life she endured in her previous life, she wants to enjoy some of the comforts she missed out on. So she says to Xie Yaochen, “What are you saying, husband? We’re one as husband and wife. If you don’t mind, I’d be happy to share your wealth and enjoy life with you. I don’t care about power.” A flicker of delight passes through Xie Yaochen’s eyes. “If you truly mean that, then what’s mine is yours. Wherever we are in my lands, you can choose any place you want to visit.” The old emperor has been a wise ruler his entire life, but in his old age, his sons fight over the throne until none are left. Grief-stricken and heartbroken, he learns that his good-for-nothing son has returned from his travels with his wife, and a little grandson in tow. The family of three looks rosy-cheeked and brings him a mountain of gifts. They surround him, giving him presents and telling him stories about their travels. Exhausted and suddenly touched by the joy of family, the old emperor sighs and hands over the throne. Xie Yaochen: ? Song Yuexun: ? Pre-release 2: After Awakening the Talent to Summon Gods into My Body Shen Qinghuan transmigrates into a ghost story and becomes a guest on a live ghost-hunting variety show. She awakens the talent to summon gods into her body, but which god she summons is completely random. Faced with the most powerful evil spirit of the year, the other exorcists try every trick they know, but still can’t deal with it. Shen Qinghuan has no choice but to use her skill, only to find that the Matchmaker has possessed her. Shen Qinghuan: “...” Shen Qinghuan stammers, “How about I find you a match? You can have anyone you want!” Everyone holds their breath for Shen Qinghuan, but the evil spirit blushes and says, “There’s this cute little reaper, and I...” Shen Qinghuan: “Got it!” And so Shen Qinghuan successfully sends the evil spirit on its way. The other exorcists: Amazing! A thousand-year-old vengeful spirit climbs out of an ancient tomb, bent on revenge. As soon as it emerges, it wants to kill all of its enemies’ descendants. The exorcists can’t do a thing, so Shen Qinghuan steels herself and summons a god, only for the God of Wealth to possess her. Shen Qinghuan squeezes her eyes shut, trembling as she shouts, “Give up your revenge! I’ll give you a hundred million! A billion! Ten billion! A hundred billion!” The thousand-year-old vengeful spirit: “Are you serious?” Shen Qinghuan: “I never go back on my word!” The thousand-year-old vengeful spirit obediently returns to the underworld. “It’s not like I wanted to, but she offered way too much.” Later, the Demon King moves to the city with his entire family, and the surrounding residents are infected by demonic energy, making them irritable and short-tempered. The exorcists want to deal with him, but he’s the Demon King! Shen Qinghuan has no choice but to step in again, but this time the god who possesses her is the Unlucky Star. There’s nothing she can do, and she doesn’t dare fight him, so she just goes and strolls around the Demon King’s house every day. Before long, his family has no running water, or trips and falls while walking. A whole day brings a never-ending string of unlucky mishaps. A few days later, the Demon King says, “We’ll leave on our own! Just stay away from us!” Shen Qinghuan solves one case after another and grows more and more confident, convinced that she’s finally making something of herself! That is, until she falls for someone whose family is haunted. Shen Qinghuan is about to show off her skills, but the god who possesses her is the Fighting Buddha. Yu Luze watches Shen Qinghuan leap around like a monkey. “???” Theme: No matter where you are, if you’re willing to use your head, there’s always a way forward.