A Cannon Fodder's Guide to Avoiding Pitfalls

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Hua Qingci, incarnation of Bai Ze, has skin as smooth as ice and bones as beautiful as jade, with a four-petaled vermilion divine-beast mark between his brows. Cold and unfeeling, he is the master of Chonghua Palace on Mount Kunlun, equal in rank to the Queen Mother of the West. To look upon him feels like a sacrilege against his divine presence.

Mo Fan never imagined he would transmigrate into the body of a nine-lived divine mouse, a creature destined to die in every pit it came across. The only way to escape disaster was to stay with someone blessed with auspicious energy.

As luck would have it, Hua Qingci, the greatest divine lord of Kunlun, possessed just such energy.

*

To stay alive, Mo Fan shamelessly clung to Hua Qingci, wailing and insisting that they eat and sleep together.

He used every trick in the book to get into Chonghua Palace. To get into Hua Qingci's bed, he even dug a tunnel in the middle of the night, straight into Hua Qingci's room. Hua Qingci threw him out again and again.

Being a groveling simp was one thing, but for the sake of his divine lord's dignity, he also had to learn the zither, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry, and music. He was more versatile than the divine lord himself.

After taking human form, Mo Fan felt Hua Qingci's gaze growing stranger and stranger. He thought Hua Qingci was worried about how it would look and planned to throw him out.

Mo Fan decided to prove his worth. But he went too far: while saving Hua Qingci, he blinded himself. Now he had an even better reason to stay by his side.

He needed to be coaxed to sleep and fed. He had only to hold out his hand for clothes and meals.

But just because Mo Fan thought of Hua Qingci as the cinnabar mole in his heart didn't mean Hua Qingci saw him as the moonlight in his heart.

Even with Hua Qingci's cool and distant nature, Mo Fan lived in constant fear. He knew he would have to leave sooner or later.

He was worried about his own life.

*

During a trip down the mountain to cultivate, Mo Fan met another divine lord blessed with auspicious energy. This one was not only gentle and affectionate, but fell in love with him at first sight. Mo Fan was overjoyed and planned to turn around and leave.

But Hua Qingci tossed him onto the bed and confined him to his room on the grounds that his conduct was improper and he had harassed a divine lord.

Mo Fan protested, "He was the one who fell for me first. What does that have to do with me?"

Hua Qingci leaned over him and asked with narrowed eyes, "You really don't like him?"

*

Hua Qingze really didn't want a pet. And if he did, he wouldn't choose a mouse. Years ago, when he killed a vicious beast, its evil spirit clung to him and proved difficult to drive out of his body.

As it happened, Mo Fan's soul-stealing eyes could ease his suffering, so he had no choice but to let Mo Fan stay by his side.

Who could have guessed that after turning human, the little mouse would be so beautiful and adorable? Apart from being a little greedy and playful, he was the perfect pet.

He was simply too lovable.

Hua Qingci decided he had to keep a close watch on this mouse.

One night, someone saw Hua Qingci standing outside the latrine, holding Mo Fan's trembling little hand in his jade-like one.

That person: "..."

Hua Qingci calmly explained, "Xiaofan is using the latrine and is afraid of falling into the pit..."

*An immortal-looking, stunningly beautiful, cold and heartless top x a greedy, playful bottom who loves being a pet

*An alternate-history setting, entirely fictional

*Updated daily, never abandoned

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