The Imperial Hospital's Burial Squad (Absurd Comedy)

[Goofy humor throughout] [I'll write a group-pampering story next]

Chang Lu was the most trusted physician in the Imperial Medical Bureau. His specialty wasn't difficult-to-diagnose illnesses, but delivering babies.

And the thing he feared most in life was delivering babies.

When Noble Consort Chen went into labor, in the depths of winter, he was dragged out of his warm bed and hauled straight before the emperor.

Before he could even react, he heard the emperor say coldly,

"If both mother and child don't survive, I'll have the entire Imperial Medical Bureau buried with them!"

The emperor's fury made Chang Lu shudder. Then he saw every physician in the bureau kneeling on the ground, all looking to him with hopeful eyes.

Chang Lu, calm as ever: Thanks for asking. Same old story, I'm getting buried with them.

Everyone knows life is hard for physicians in the Imperial Medical Bureau. It's a high-risk profession.

Fail to cure the Empress Dowager's headache, and you're beaten to death.

Can't stop the little prince's cough, and you're given a length of white silk to hang yourself.

Fail to save a noblewoman's pregnancy, and you're all buried with her.

To stay alive, Chang Lu and his colleagues began coming up with all kinds of ways to save themselves, each honing a remarkable skill.

Dr. Shen, who specialized in pediatrics, studied day and night to avoid having to deal with children, and ultimately passed the imperial exams to become the top scholar.

Dr. Wu, a dermatologist, opened a beauty salon and made a fortune, going from wage earner to the richest person in Chang'an.

Dr. Song, who specialized in trauma, eventually abandoned medicine for the military and became a general defending the borders.

But Chang Lu faced the hardest challenge of his life.

What do you do when the emperor is shot by an arrow?

Pull it out!

Wait, what if the wound is in his heart?

Chang Lu: Understood. I'll hurry up and go get buried with him.

The other physicians: Isn't this the perfect chance to strike while he's down?

Let's take the throne!

Even physicians get their day in the sun!

Coming soon: Kill That Spoiled Brocade Guard

Cheng Cheng was a notorious spoiled young master. Though blessed with a handsome face, he spent his days acting like a carefree layabout, chasing excitement and never taking anything seriously.

At seventeen or eighteen, the young man wore an embroidered spring saber at his waist and a flying-fish robe, full of youthful swagger. One bright laugh was enough to captivate anyone.

In the third year of the Tianli era, Cheng Cheng was falsely accused and thrown into prison.

That night, all thirteen members of the Cheng family were killed by a sword whose blade gleamed like a rain of flowers. Its owner was Cheng Cheng's friend, Pei Yu, a Brocade Guard commander.

After Cheng Cheng was imprisoned, Pei Yu disfigured him, severed the tendons in his hands, and broke his legs.

His former friend slowly crushed his pride. Cheng Cheng was tortured until he was barely alive, while Pei Yu's frenzied voice rang in his ears.

"A Cheng, so what if you're from a prestigious family? You're still going to end up beneath my feet. Let me tell you, His Majesty had long been displeased with the Cheng family. Otherwise, why would he have believed my false accusation?"

"I killed your parents, your younger brother, and your younger sister! Too bad you'll never get the chance to avenge them!"

Outsiders only knew that the Cheng family had harbored treasonous intentions and that Pei Yu had upheld justice by killing his own kin. The spirited young man died on that rainy night too, and his body was tossed into a mass grave, wrapped in a straw mat.

After that, Pei Yu rose steadily through the ranks and even became deputy commander of the Brocade Guards.

In the thirteenth year of the Tianli era, Pei Yu, the emperor's favored minister and deputy commander of the Brocade Guards, suddenly fell from power and was thrown into the Imperial Prison.

No one ever returned from the Imperial Prison, especially after its new commander took charge. His methods were so brutal that countless people trembled at the mere mention of him.

In a wretched state, Pei Yu looked up and saw a man playing with a knife in his hand, a strange smile on his lips. It was the new commander.

Then the knife plunged into Pei Yu's heart.

Before Pei Yu could react, the man spoke beside his ear, his voice full of amusement.

"A Yu, it's been a long time. I've crawled out of hell to see you."

[Main plot: career and power] [Secondary plot: family ties]

[Revenge, revenge, revenge. The male lead is not a kind-hearted young man.]

[No couple pairing. The protagonist has no romantic storyline, so read without worry.]

Theme: The day will come to ride the wind and cleave the waves, setting sail with raised sails to cross the vast sea.