What Should I Do If I Hook Up with Myself?

Narcissism, pseudo-incest

One day, many years later, Jia Xing, who had been unable to feel emotions or physical sensations for a long time, finally felt pain again.

After searching for the cause for a long time, he eventually determined that the pain came from himself ten years ago.

That miserable, obsessive self who kept everyone at arm's length, yet longed for the light.

In the pitch-black night, in an alley without surveillance cameras, a seventeen- or eighteen-year-old boy stood among a crowd of people surrounding him. With a dark gaze, he deliberately threw himself onto a knife. The blood gushing from his wound was a blinding red. That was also when he began to gradually lose his ability to feel emotions and physical sensations.

To fix this aftereffect, and to avoid getting any more ugly scars,

twenty-eight-year-old Jia Xing stood in front of the dilapidated rental home in his memories from ten years ago and introduced himself to the boy expressionlessly.

"My name is Jia Yang. I'm your older brother. From now on, I'll be taking care of you."

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Back then, seventeen-year-old Jia Xing hadn't changed his name yet. His mother had named him Xing, meaning a shining star.

Later, he lost his mother and was thrown out of his home. From then on, he returned to his ancestral hometown, a small county town, and lived alone.

It had been a long time since anyone had called him by that name.

Then one day, a handsome young man who looked nearly identical to him knocked on his door, called him Xing Xing, and claimed to be his older brother.

Jia Xing lowered his eyes with a scornful look.

As if he'd believe that.

But later, Jia Xing searched for love in this man's every gesture, going mad and becoming obsessed with it.

Without telling Jia Xing, he went to a tattoo parlor and had a star tattooed on himself.

Later still, in a daze, he saw that star on Jia Xing's lower back.

It belonged to him alone.

A narcissism story, with a younger top.

A cold, unhinged adult bottom x a gloomy, unhinged teenage top

One has an overwhelming need for control, the other an overwhelming need to possess.

Theme: Love life, love yourself