No One Is Better at Being a Couch Potato Than Me

Recorded on March 2, 2021 Xie Chaoshen's dream is to be a couch potato: a tiny puddle of a man, lying on the beach and basking in the warm sun for the rest of his life without ever moving. But after transmigrating to the cultivation world, he's immediately thrown into a scene where someone is entrusting a child to his care. A woman, covered in wounds, desperately clutches his sleeve. "Y-Younger martial brother, Changsheng Sect, and Xuan'er... are counting on you..." The woman sprays him with blood-flecked spit. Before he can even process what happened, he's been shoved into the role of sect leader of Changsheng Sect. Xie Chaoshen: "..." Well, would you look at that. Just look at that. Being a sect leader is exhausting. Raising a child is even more exhausting. After three years of secretly battling schemers both inside and outside the sect, Xie Chaoshen is mentally and physically spent. He decides to quit. He takes a fake-death pill and summons his senior disciple, the very child who had been entrusted to him all those years ago. With a tragic expression, he says, "Xuan'er, your master has reached the end of his days. Changsheng Sect is... counting on you..." Before he can finish, his head lolls to one side and his hand goes limp. Perfect. Being a couch potato is great. Being a couch potato is awesome. Being a couch potato... What the hell? Lying on his homemade recliner, Xie Chaoshen stares in shock at his senior disciple, who's come looking for him. His throat bobs a few times. "Xuan'er, I wasn't..." The senior disciple lowers his eyes. "Master, I've been deposed." Xie Chaoshen: "..." The senior disciple: "I let them do it." Xie Chaoshen: "..." The senior disciple: "Why fight for power? Isn't it better to be a couch potato?" Xie Chaoshen: "Get lost..." The senior disciple throws himself against the rocking chair with a thump, tears streaming down his face. "Master, I don't want to work hard anymore. I don't want to be sect leader at all. I want to bask in the sun... Master, this chair is really nice. Can your disciple lie in it for a while?" Xie Chaoshen: "...First, tell me who the current sect leader is." The senior disciple quietly names the schemer. This man is cunning, treacherous, and capable of every evil. Xie Chaoshen's vision goes black. Why is it so hard to be a couch potato? A forced-to-carry-the-load couch-potato master, bottom x a scheming disciple who says, "Of course I'm pretending," top Real couch potato vs. fake couch potato. Whoever gets up first loses. Theme: Overcome laziness and work hard to contribute to the development of the community