The Top Alpha Is Such a Tease and a Brat

[This story is complete. Read with confidence.]

Currently serializing: "You Said Everyone Would Hate Me"

Blurb:

Feng Wuguo believes that, as a Beta, pairing up with another Beta is the perfect arrangement.

He has no intention of being a player, but A-fish and O-fish keep insisting on swimming into his waters.

Tsk. Keeping fish is such a hassle. Might as well stew them all.

After stewing n fish...

One remains: an octopus with the toughest skin, the clingiest nature, and the strongest life force, one that simply won't die no matter how long he stews it.

...Keeping him is less trouble than stewing him.

I give up. Between two evils, choose the lesser. Guess I'll keep him around.

Scheming, shameless, a walking grease stain, a jealous fish full of layered ploys, an A who is allergic to suppressants, seme

Talkative, arrogant, clear-eyed, a master at using water to catch fish, a handsome B with no pheromones, uke

A handy guide to remembering the seme and uke:

Feng Wuguo: Though his name means "no blame," he is always either taking the blame or about to take it. His nickname is Feng Guoguo.

Yan Yulu: A homophone for "eyes about to turn green"; in other words, "looking ready to change color." (Yan Yulu: ???)

Notes for readers:

1. A/B romance, younger seme, five-year age gap. No betting on who ends up with whom. I'm neither seme- nor uke-biased, and I'll do my best to be fair to both.

2. Both are strong. The uke is not stronger than the seme; seme and uke only refer to their bedroom roles.

3. Some mutual healing. The seme is initially in unrequited love. The sweeter it gets as the story goes on. If you happen to get stabbed by angst while reading, repeat three times: Three stabs make a dessert.

4. The first ten chapters feature a lot of forum posts. As the story goes on, the seme and uke have more and more scenes together (an absurd amount of their back-and-forth).

5. There are plenty of personal world-building details, so don't scrutinize the logic.

6. I'm bad at titles and blurbs, bad at naming things, and forgetful, so the names in the story are chosen for ease of memory. (I recommend ignoring the blurb and reading the story directly.)

7. This is a self-indulgent story written to satisfy my own tastes. I love the enemies-to-lovers trope. The seme has a fairly complex personality, but I would never mistreat my own babies (both the seme and uke are my precious babies). They will definitely end up doting on each other. If that's not your thing, please don't force yourself to read it.

8. No need to send tips. Supporting the official release is enough. (If you don't support the author, there's nothing I can do, so please don't kick up a fuss and make us both miserable.)

Cover art by Sue

Coming soon: "My Mortal Enemy Came Here Carrying My Corpse"

Good news: My mortal enemy has lost his memories!

Bad news: He thinks my corpse is the body of his Dao companion...

Also known as "I Have Two Bodies, but Only One Can Survive"

Theme: Even when surrounded by thorns, keep reaching for the sun.