Song Panpan is a struggling amateur author on Green Hook Literature, and the biggest features of her writing are that it is padded to an absurd degree and riddled with typos.
One day, Song Panpan finished her latest meandering novel, Immortal Journey, at lightning speed, only to be dragged into an unfamiliar world by a sudden alarm.
System: Warning! Author Song Panpan has triggered the Retribution System, which brings down lightning strikes for excessive typos. As punishment, she must personally enter the story and eliminate them.
Song Panpan glanced at her outfit, which was just like that of the cannon-fodder senior sister in Immortal Journey, and remained completely calm. “Transmigrating into a book? That's an old trope.”
Later, after learning just how outrageous those typos were, she desperately wanted to slap her overconfident self.
The original novel's male lead, Long Aotian, was upright and righteous. Wielding an ancient divine sword, he cleaved open heaven and earth, looking so handsome that both gods and men were incensed. Then he had to add, “That was nothing.”
As his fellow disciple, Song Panpan beamed with pride. After a long string of fulsome praise, she delivered her emphatic conclusion before all the immortal sects: “That's our guy, you little loser.”
The original novel's second male lead was a scheming black lotus, outwardly a paragon of immortal elegance but, in truth, unfathomably deep. He pressed a folding fan against Song Panpan's chin and said meaningfully, “Junior sister, it's been a long time.”
Song Panpan smiled sweetly. Without giving an inch in the tense standoff, she declared war: “Senior brother, you've gotten fat.”
The original novel's villainous boss was beautiful, strong, and tragic in the early chapters, then overwhelmingly powerful later on. One look from him was enough to turn Song Panpan into a human swine on the spot.
On the day he fell to darkness and became a demon, the boss stared fixedly at Song Panpan through the thick black fog. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was covered in blood.
Song Panpan approached him trembling, going through the motions and pretending to be magnanimous. “Little junior brother, I don't mind if you hurt me.”
Who could have guessed that the boss, in the middle of his descent into darkness, would falter for a moment and look bewildered? “Are you sure?”
Song Panpan: “?”
As soon as the words left her mouth, warmth touched the corner of her lips.
Song Panpan looked up. Their breaths mingled as the young man pressed close to her neck, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. His hoarse voice sounded aggrieved:
“You said it yourself. Kiss me.”
Author's rambling: Chinese culture is vast and profound.
[The first version of this blurb was posted on 2021/02/06, and the revised version was posted on 2022/05/23. Screenshots of both have been saved.]
--Please add my next book, [The Protagonist Will Die Eight Hundred Times], to your collection! Sending you hearts!---
Lin Meng transmigrates into a fantasy power-trip novel. The protagonist in the book can kill gods when he meets them, slay demons and monsters all along the way, face-slap every villain, and attain the pinnacle of the Dao.
Lin Meng looks at herself, having transmigrated into the body of a wicked villainess. “Got it. My job must be to put my face right there and use my rock-bottom intelligence to make the protagonist's triumphs even more satisfying, right?”
System: “No. Your job is to keep the protagonist alive.”
Lin Meng: “Aren't protagonists supposed to have that kind of golden finger where they can do anything and still never die?”
System: “You are his golden finger.”
Lin Meng: “...”
And so, the wicked villainess Lin Xiaomeng works diligently every day to keep the protagonist alive, laboring on the verge of sudden death day after day.
“Warning! The protagonist face-slapped the head of the Xiaoyao Sect. He's about to get beaten to death!”
“Warning! The protagonist entered a secret-realm trial above his level. He's about to get killed by a divine beast!”
“Warning! The protagonist was drugged by a cannon-fodder female supporting character. He's about to be poisoned to death by an aphrodisiac!”
Lin Meng: “...”
Forget it. She's tired. Let's all go down together.
And so, the refined and easygoing man who was the most handsome in the Three Realms, a rising jade-faced Asura of the cultivation world, was nurtured by Lin Meng into the legendary most terrifying, bloodthirsty, murderous, wicked, and heinous great demon of the Three Realms, a hideously ugly monster with three heads and eight nostrils.
At that moment, the great demon was beating the highly respected elders of the sect until they were crawling all over the ground.
System: “Whose fault is this?”
Lin Meng spread her hands innocently. “It's not my fault.”
Later, Lin Meng blushed as the arm around her waist held her tightly.
System: “Whose fault is this?”
With tears in her eyes and barely a breath in her voice, Lin Meng said, “...It's my fault.”
Theme: Seeking the beauty of love, truth, and goodness.
Come on? (??з(??? C)
The word "big" is too thick
So beautiful! It's not enough, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah?
What should I do? Senior brother, this gentle black lotus has poked me hard (hiss
Simple and warm, with a little bit of sarcasm added hahaha
The heroine is very good at cultivating immortals. Does she have the memory of the original owner?
We should really let them try what it feels like to be tortured for several years.
These men died so easily!!!!!!
"Shoot" is a big bug for the author~
Come on, author, I like your article very much. Just don't abandon it or make it unfinished.