Becoming the Imperial Preceptor in a Strange Tales Fanfic

Coming soon: “Transmigrated into a Horror Game as a Widower NPC” and “After Being Sacrificed as an Offering to an Evil God” Ruan Tao is a half-baked fortune-teller, known in the martial world as a “half-immortal.” One day, he transmigrated into a Liaozhai fanfiction. In other people's Liaozhai stories, fox spirits say, “My savior, you saved my life. I can only repay you by giving myself to you.” But the fox he met opened its mouth and declared, “The Great Chu will rise! Chen Sheng is king!” Other people's Liaozhai: grateful ghosts and fox spirits, immortal turtles bearing treasure, and romances between humans and ghosts... His Liaozhai: “An alchemist? Can you make pills? The kind that will land you in serious trouble if you botch them?” With nothing to his name after transmigrating, Ruan Tao decided to return to his half-immortal ways and keep making a living through scams and fortune-telling. “Sir, could you tell my fortune? Do you think I can become as famous as Brother Taibai through my poetry?” Ruan Tao made a casual prediction. “Yes.” To his surprise, he was right! Only later did he find out that the man was Du Fu. “A young girl can often be heard weeping at night in the abandoned house on East Street. Sir, please perform an exorcism!” Ruan Tao went over and casually drew a talisman. To his surprise, it worked! Only then did he learn that the girl he'd comforted with a spirit-summoning talisman was named Lin Daiyu. One day he helped Huo Qubing overcome a tribulation, the next he purged evil spirits for Wang Bo, and the day after that he cleansed Wu Dalang of a curse... Before long, Ruan Tao had somehow become a somewhat famous figure in the field. One day, a ghost started haunting the estate of the eldest young master, Fusu, and Ruan Tao was summoned. Ruan Tao replied with a cold expression, “I'm expensive.” The young master said, “I'll give myself to you.” Coming soon: “Transmigrated into a Horror Game as a Widower NPC” “Jian” is a live-action horror escape game. According to legend, if someone chosen to participate clears the game, it will grant their deepest wish. Jiang Yan was perfectly content, healthy, and free of worries. Then he went to sleep and somehow ended up inside the game. Other people became players. He became an NPC. From a ghost-bride-to-be in a deserted village to a frail beauty in a dilapidated hospital, critically ill and close to death; from a little lamb awaiting slaughter, held captive by a hunter in a desolate forest, to the widowed owner of a frail, ill man's paper-offering shop in the suburbs of the capital... The players cleared the stages one by one, while Jiang Yan drifted from one stage to the next. In every instance, his character had either a dead wife or a dead husband System: “Beep! Ask the bride-to-be about the background of the deceased village chief's son.” Player One: “Why is the bride a man?” Player Two: “Probably a bug. Don't worry about the details.” Jiang Yan, asked the question: “Um... Uh... Well, I didn't memorize my lines! I'll just tell you: he's a ghost.” All the players: “????” On the game's forum: Newbie: “I hear the ‘Minjiang No. 423’ instance often wipes out the whole team. How do I survive?” Player One: “Find an NPC named Jiang Yan and stick close to him!” Player Two: “Don't literally grab him! The last guy who actually grabbed Jiang Yan's leg got swallowed whole by a vengeful ghost. The video looped on the forum for three days! Make him happy! Remember to make him happy!” Newbie: “May I ask who this NPC Jiang Yan is?” All the players: “Don't ask! He's just a bug!” Other people came to the game because of some deep desire. Jiang Yan came here because he was the obsession driving someone else mad. [Beautiful, cold, and goofy NPC slacker bottom x Overprotective, possessive main-god top who comes in multiple fragments] “After Being Sacrificed as an Offering to an Evil God” A radiation-based virus swept across the world, infecting and mutating humanity. Humanity prayed to the gods for help, offering up a baby named Lin Cu. When Lin Cu turned eighteen, the god's tentacles undid his buttons, and the regular ritual offering began to take an unexpected turn. Some god: “For the sake of humanity.” Some offering: “Yeah, right.” * Lin Cu: a beautiful, neurotic offering. On X Month X Day, the federal government accused Lin Cu of burning down the prime minister's treasury and asked the god to punish him. God: “My little offering is as soft and delicate as a flower. How could he have started a fire?” On X Month X Day, a certain gang accused Lin Cu of taking out their hideout and prayed to the god for judgment. God: “My little offering is as fragile as a lamb. How could he have gotten into a fight?” On X Month X Day, the federal government obtained proof that Lin Cu was the Federation's number-one smuggler and prayed to the god to punish him. God: “My little offering is so delicate that... What smuggling? That's called doing business!” Netizen A: “The god lets him get away with all that?” Netizen B: “You can't put a price on a god turning a blind eye.” Netizen C: “Pray to the god? Will the god take down the federal government? Better kneel to Lin Cu instead.” The victims: “Heavens! Strike him down with lightning!” * In the end, the “victims” decided to join forces. On X Month X Day, the federal court charged Lin Cu with “mutational infection” and piled on the charges, sentencing him to a death sacrifice. Lin Cu lounged on the altar, his mutated fish tail swishing as he awaited execution in the name of the god. He gazed into the abyss, and the abyss answered The eager abyss waved its tentacles. “Honey! Now we can catch jellyfish together!” Lin Cu: “...” Everyone: “???” The victims: “We're sorry. We should just bow to you instead.” Theme: Whether a giant fish or a mayfly, every soul is born romantic