On the Run from a Murderous Author for Writing OOC

Hello, dear internet friends. My pen name is "Feng Dao Suo Ai," and my nickname is "The Knife Fiend." I'm currently in a life-or-death crisis.

Maybe it's true that those who wield knives will eventually be cut by them.

The OOC Dazai I wrote has come to my door. He's holding one of my angst-filled stories to my throat and demanding I give him back his wife!

Please flood the comments with (teary-eyed.jpg)

Where am I supposed to find a wife to give him? I killed them all off. Does someone with his personality deserve a living, breathing wife? Unless I delete the story and rewrite it!

I can write it, I can! As long as he gives me back the bank card where I keep my living expenses! That's my lifeline!

But why, as I write, does another OOC Dazai, acting completely differently, jump out of the book to claim my life?

Thanks for asking. Though I love Dazai and am an extremely devoted Dazai fan, due to the current threat to my life, I really have no choice but to quit writing and leave the literary world.

Who could stand having every Dazai they've written come after them to collect a debt?

Urgent question: I'm trapped by the foot of my bedroom bed. How am I supposed to explain to Dazai No. 1 why there's now a Dazai No. 2 in the room...

I can't exactly say that my OOC skills are so strong that no two Dazais in my stories are ever alike!

And I really don't have any extra wives to give them!

(Trapped between two men.jpg)

A certain close friend replies: @Feng Dao Suo Ai, stay strong and keep living!

Theme: Turn over a new leaf