Hands Off My Tomb!

Qin Xiaocong is a tomb spirit born in an ancient tomb from primordial times. His mission is to guard the tomb, and not a single blade of grass or tree inside it may be damaged. One day, a bolt of lightning and fire came down from the heavens and split the tomb into pieces. Qin Xiaocong was nearly killed as well, and everything inside the tomb fled in terror. Most of the divine beasts stationed along the sacred path ran off, and all the spiritual figures in the murals disappeared... Worst of all, the tomb's owner had vanished too! The gods said Qin Xiaocong had drawn down the lightning and fire, and now he had to atone by finding all the "roommates" who had fled in fright. Otherwise, the next bolt would make his soul scatter into nothing. To save his own life, Qin Xiaocong had no choice but to leave the tomb. The others shouldn't be too hard. He saw them every day, and he was confident he could find them one by one. But he'd only ever seen the tomb owner through a gold-threaded burial suit. He had no idea what the person looked like. How was he supposed to find him? After careful consideration, Qin Xiaocong looked at the "possibly the tomb owner" who had been following him around, picked an auspicious day, and decided to put his theory to the test. Qin Xiaocong turned back into his original form, a smooth, flawless piece of jade, and said to the "possibly the tomb owner," "Come on, put me in your mouth." The "possibly the tomb owner": "...I refuse." Qin Xiaocong was furious. "I'm not grossed out by you, so what are you complaining about?!" [Lots of invented details. Please don't scrutinize them. As someone with a day job, I probably can't update daily, but I'll keep writing until it's done. There will be weekly updates whenever I'm not working overtime.] [New story in the same series, "The God of Wealth Has Finally Been Demoted," coming soon. Please add it to your wishlist.] Shocking news: Zhao Diyao, the famous God of Wealth and a descendant of generations of heavenly officials, has been demoted to the mortal world! His divine attendant, Li Xiao, has successfully risen through the ranks, taken Zhao Diyao's place, and become the new God of Wealth. They say that after the former God of Wealth, Zhao Diyao, became mortal, he was so destitute that he would split even a single coin in two, and often got beaten until his face was black and blue. Hearing the news, Li Xiao laughed his guts out in private. The wheel of fate turns, and now it's your turn! To get a closer look at Zhao Diyao's predicament, Li Xiao made him his divine attendant and returned all the old mistreatment to him "twice over": He had to practice calligraphy for at least four hours before he could eat, stand facing the wall for two hours each day to work on his posture, and copy the scriptures a hundred times for every character he got wrong... One night, Zhao Diyao pinned Li Xiao to the bed and said coldly, "Had enough?" Li Xiao: "...How dare you!" Zhao Diyao loosened his belt. "There's nothing left for you to squeeze out of me. You can have this body." Li Xiao: ...No, help me! Theme: Do good deeds and be a good person.