An Incredible Performance

[Blurb] From the start, all you get is a haunted, abandoned building with no rent, one computer, and a bank balance in the double digits. Please enter extreme survival mode. Normal response: Make money! Build a career! I'll outwork everyone! Dong Lingxi, a stay-at-home shut-in with the face of an easygoing slacker: "Sure, no rush. Let's play a game first." * Everyone thought he was a poor little thing: living in an abandoned building with no lock on the door, eating plain noodles with salt, and getting all his vitamin C from pills. Other streamers tried to provoke him and start drama, but he didn't react, too busy gaming. A talent agency tried to recruit him, but he muted the messages, too busy gaming. A nasty troublemaker came to pick a fight and got his stream shut down and his game account locked. With no games left to play, the slacker... actually! Got! Up! He swiftly dealt with the annoying pests, then lay back down and went right back to gaming. Viewers: ...Now that's what you call staying true to yourself! * 1. Haunted House Simulator: The goal is to build the world's scariest haunted house. Xi-ge: My haunted house is free. It'll cost you your life. 2. Starship Night Voyage: You open your eyes to find a nurse holding a syringe as thick as your arm. Xi-ge: Thanks. Something this nice should be used to stitch up a sow's episiotomy after she gives birth. 3. Blizzard Night: A tour group with their own secrets heads to a remote mountain manor to uncover the truth, but a blizzard traps them there. Xi-ge: We haven't even gone up the mountain yet, right? I'm calling traffic control to report this vehicle for being overloaded. The streamers: Please, just stop talking. * A streamer came to learn from him, having heard all about his reputation. "How have you managed to stay alive and not get beaten to death?" Dong Lingxi said, "Thanks for asking. First, I cleared an insanely hard level in one life after ordinary players had lost hundreds of times. Second, I took down the top streamer in the gaming category by myself and chased him off like a chicken. And finally, I mastered the butchering technique for killing snakes with one hand." Streamer: "..." Dong Lingxi: "That, my friend, is the art of lying flat." Streamer: Are you messing with me? [Reader Notice] 1. This story has no romantic pairing. Xi-ge shines on his own. 2. But, but! I'll write an infinite-flow romance with Xi-ge as the male lead in the future! If you can't accept that, please steer clear in time. QAQ 3. Some parts take place in the real world and cover Xi-ge's family background. 4. This isn't an esports story. Xi-ge really is the kind of person who just lies flat, you know? .jpg (trying to gesture) 5. I can't think of anything else to say... I'll add more if I do. 6. Thanks to every lovely reader for reading and supporting the story. Sending love! [Coming Soon: The Male Lead Keeps Interrupting My Fake-Death Progress Bar] [The blurb is in first person. The main story is in third person.] I'm an NPC passerby. The System told me my mission was simple: 1. Become friends with the male lead. 2. Take a knife for him in a moment of danger. 3. Die in his arms, beautifully reciting my assigned last words so that his grief and rage unlock his power and let him defeat enemies above his level. The System explained that my death would give readers a tearjerking highlight, after which I could retire. I nodded, indicating that I understood everything perfectly. * Then I realized the hardest part of this mission wasn't "becoming friends with the male lead." It was "dying." ...Can someone tell me why the male lead powers up faster than I can recite my "dying words"?! I hadn't even fallen over, and the world-shaking boss had already been beaten to death by the rampaging male lead! I could only lie low and wait for my next chance to sacrifice myself, but... Aaaah, how did this happen? The male lead powers up much faster than I can lie flat. I really can't find an opportunity! "I will never let anyone get the chance to hurt you... Never." ...Thanks, but you really don't have to go that far for a "friend"! Why does the male lead look even more upset after I say that? System: [How about you check the tags?] I took a look. A perfectly ordinary "hot-blooded youth" story had gained an extra tag: "plenty of dog food." Me: ??? What does that mean? Why can't I understand? Come to think of it, the latest "Character Popularity Poll No. 1" has the same name as me... Wait, that's me! Huh? I'm really just a passerby! Sweet, gentle girl x a black-hearted wolf in sheep's clothing Theme: Stay true to yourself, and you'll attract friends who accept you.