None of My Classmates Believe I'm a God

Lan Cheng woke up hungry.

After a long sleep, the ancient god awoke to a world transformed. How could his power of faith have dwindled to almost nothing?

Lan Cheng dug himself out of the ground. The young god squatting at the cave entrance gave him a disdainful once-over and issued his verdict:

"Low-ranking god, I'm your direct superior. Give me your phone number."

Lan Cheng: ??

Lan Cheng spent a month making ends meet under an overpass without gaining a single believer. By chance, he overheard two female students squealing about their "dream guy." Lan Cheng watched the dazzling power of faith shining on them, and his stomach went: growl~

Build your following from childhood.

On his first day at the new school, Lan Cheng introduced himself: "Hi, everyone. My name is Lan Cheng, and I'm a god."

Classmates: ...

Teacher: ...

Lan Cheng: "As long as you make an offering every day and pray sincerely, I will hear your wishes."

Teacher: "Last row. Yes, you, in that little nook."

Lan Cheng sat down. His new deskmate grinned wickedly. "Hey, whatever-your-name-is god, how about I believe in you?"

Lan Cheng held out five fingers in refusal. "No thanks. You're practically dripping with murderous energy. You'd be better off believing in the Plague God."

Mu Yanzhou's smile vanished. "What the hell did you just say?!"

Lan Cheng turned around. "I'm a god. I was born from the beliefs of all things, so I don't have a mother. But I do have a superior. Want the phone number of the god above me?"

Lan Cheng's eyes gleamed. "For just one fried chicken drumstick, I'll grant that wish. Preferably one from Old Wang's, cumin flavor, brushed with sauce and extra chili."

Mu Yanzhou: ...

Mu Yanzhou: "You're insane!"

Theme: Comedy.