Even 5T5 Couldn't Have Seen This Coming

Kawamori Hotaru, male, an utterly ordinary student at Teiko and a former member of the Port Mafia. One day after returning to an ordinary life, Kawamori Hotaru runs into a curse in the school bathroom. The curse looks terrifying, is enormously strong, and has the word disgusting written all over it. But it smells delicious enough to make your mouth water. Kawamori Hotaru's hands move faster than his thoughts. The moment he sees the curse, he squashes it into a ball and stuffs it into his mouth. He looks up, then down in thought, and finally gives his considered opinion: This ugly thing tastes amazing! But you can't just say anything, and you can't just eat anything. That very night, a white-haired sorcerer shows up at his door, declaring him a Grade 2 curse and threatening to exorcise him on the spot without a word of discussion. Kawamori Hotaru is dumbfounded. >>> After a series of scientific tests, he understands the situation. Kawamori Hotaru's ability is Intimate Replication. After close contact, he can copy another person's physique and abilities. After eating the curse, he successfully copied its physique, turning himself into a non-purebred curse. The jujutsu world sentenced him to death. Kawamori Hotaru: ... (smiles) To become human again, Kawamori Hotaru decides to get intimate with someone. The white-haired sorcerer. Not only is he someone Hotaru knows, he's also a treasured figure in the jujutsu world. If Hotaru chooses this precious person whom the jujutsu world protects like the apple of its eye, everyone who wants to exorcise him will be furious. A match made in heaven. It's him. >> Gojo, a student at Jujutsu High, encounters a non-purebred curse. It can play tennis, gets terrible grades, is very cute, and falls for him at first sight, always trying to find ways to get close to him. Gojo thinks for a few seconds, then declares with complete confidence: Hey! Honey! >> Lots of original headcanons and plenty of plot holes. >> This story goes completely off the rails, with nonstop love triangles and groveling exes. >> Warning: intense content ahead! Coming soon: "Gojo Satoru Swears Off Online Dating" Gojo Satoru uses a voice changer to flirt with a girl online. She's beautiful and kind, and in every way perfect except that she doesn't talk much. Kume Chito gets an online girlfriend. She's lively, sweet, and loves to act cute, and in every way perfect except that she loves playing pranks. They flirt and fall for each other over time, then decide to meet in person. >>> On the day they meet, Kume Chito sees his online girlfriend. She has short white hair, eyes like a galaxy, and looks divine, like a flower blooming on a lofty peak. Except she's a guy. On the day they meet, Gojo Satoru waits for his cute girlfriend. She's cool and stylish, and a rare cursed speech user who made a Special Grade curse kill itself with a single sentence. Too bad she's a guy. Both of them are stunned: Where's my cute girlfriend?! Ptooey! Online dating sucks! Recommending my friend's upcoming stories: Danmei: "My Parallel Self Destroyed the World" by Jing Yun: I awakened the memories and superpowers of my parallel-world self. Main crossover: Bungo Stray Dogs and Jujutsu Kaisen. Original romance: "How to Raise a Little Darling [Apocalypse]" by Jun Shui Yi, ID 5008172. In one sentence: The apocalypse arrives, and I turn into a child. Theme: Whatever identity you live under, you should always strive to do your best