Give It a Rest, Will You?

Hello, everyone. My name is Li Zhi. One winter night, after a meteor shower, zombies began overrunning our world. Plants and animals mutated, and they started looking at us living people as their next meal. I guess this is what they call the apocalypse. Early in the apocalypse, I told my cat, "The world is so big, I want to see it. I have so many friends, I want to visit them. I’m going to roam the world with my sword, letting the wind blow through my heroic hair." My cat rolled its eyes. "Why not ride the wind and soar ninety thousand miles into the sky?" On my journey, I met up with my friends. I said, "Don’t be sad, don’t be afraid. I’ll travel through time and space and do everything I can to get to you." My friends, making a face: "That was funny, but somehow a little touching… Just kidding." Later, I came across a bunch of troublemaking villains. They angrily demanded to know who I was and why I kept ruining their plans. I replied righteously, "I don’t change my name or surname. I am Bai Suzhen from Qingcheng Mountain." The villains, numb with disbelief: "…Forget it. Just go die!" In the end, my cat, friends, and the villains all said, "Is this supposed to be an apocalypse novel? Where’s the darkness of human nature, the agonizing struggles, the desperate fight to survive, the serious atmosphere? Are you a fool sent here by the Monkey King? Give it a rest and stop fooling around." The story of a goofball gathering a gang of weirdos in the apocalypse to save the world (not really). No CP, no romance. Warning: First-person narration. I wrote an earlier version three years ago, but couldn’t bear to leave it with such a rushed ending, so I cut it down to the bone, reworked the outline, and rewrote it. The only good thing about this novel is that it’s effortless to read. It won’t make your brain work even a little. I hope you enjoy it. [Gets punched] We all know what 2020 was like. The mutant rats, wild rabbits, and wild chickens eaten in this novel are all necessary for the plot. Remember to repeat after me: Say no to wild game, starting with me~ Completed no-CP paranormal novel: I’m a Ghost-Hunting Expert in the Paranormal Realm. When night falls, she becomes the light. Completed no-CP paranormal novel: Lu Yichan. The orange tabby and I go ghost hunting. No-CP secret identity novel: The Demon King’s Script. I, the great Demon King, am going to play the righteous protagonist. No-CP paranormal novel: On the Feasibility of Playing a Sweeping Monk in a Paranormal Instance. She said to the ghost, "If I hit you with this punch, you might die." Theme: Punish evil and promote good, stand up for the weak and fight the strong.