[Western Crossover] The Pigeon from the East

Blurb One: I’m a pigeon from the East. I was trained, but eventually decided not to strive for anything. Living off other people and waiting to die is just fine. But for some reason, human pets always want me to do things for them. And every time I go to do something, they have an accident. A busty beauty asked me to get help, then got frozen. An American tycoon asked me to get help, then went boom. A brilliant surgeon asked me to get help, then fell off a cliff. Sure enough, good people don’t live long. I’ve decided to find a bad person to be my pet. Then one got locked up in Arkham, and another was sent to prison. I guess I’m just not cut out to have pets. Superheroes and villains: You’re the one who’s my pet! Blurb Two: I was born aboard a ship called Noah’s Ark. Then the ship sank, but I survived. I went to fetch an olive branch, hoping to bless the ship and keep it from sinking. The ship was gone, but the floodwaters receded. Two winged bird-men appeared. One called me Dolphin, the other called me Peace. They were very interested in me and decided to train me. One said I was a gift from God. The other said I was a messenger of Satan. I’ve seen God’s cruelty and Satan’s kindness. I don’t want to go to Heaven or Hell. The human world is nice. It suits me. Just like these two angels and demons who can’t bear to leave the human world, even though they’re enemies, they get along like lovers. I need to get away from them. Being a third wheel gets you beaten up! Reader advisory: 1. A crossover between superheroes and Good Omens. The mythology is completely made up. 2. Parallel worlds, OOC warning. Theme: A world united.