My Nonhuman Wife

Synopsis: During an exorcism, Jiang Yao accidentally breaks the seal on an evil spirit. The spirit is dressed in a red wedding gown and wears a red veil. Slender and unable to speak, it is nevertheless extremely vicious and nearly kills him on the spot. Fortunately, he suppresses it in time with his heart’s blood. He intends to take the evil spirit back to the temple and let his master deal with it, but his unreliable master turns pale at the sight of it and scurries beneath the altar table where the ancestors are enshrined, trembling. “This evil spirit can’t be killed. To untie a knot, you need the one who tied it. You let it out, so you’re the one who has to win it over!” “H-How do I do that?” “Take it home and raise it until you win it over!” After keeping the evil spirit at home for a few days, Jiang Yao sits in the ruins of his house, lifts his trouser cuffs, soaked with bloody water, and calls his unreliable master. “I can’t win it over. Just kill me instead.” His master says, “Well, um… is it possible that once it falls in love with you, it’ll let you touch it and win it over?” Jiang Yao falls silent and thinks it over. In the end, his master persuades him, and he makes a solemn decision. But after more than a decade of being single, he has no choice but to post a tactful question online: How do I pursue a girl and win her affection? A kind internet stranger replies: Take her out for good food, see a movie, get milk tea, do her nails, and do anything that makes her happy. Then confess your true feelings. Jiang Yao gets it. … Exorcist: Recently, there’s been a fellow who goes around taking every evil spirit in the city without so much as a word. I finally landed a job, and just after I set up my formation, he stuffed the evil spirit into a box right in front of me and took it away! What a monster! Waaaah! Jiang Yao: Take them all in one go, feed them to my wife, yummy. A male star: I spent a fortune raising a Kuman Thong to get a role from Director Chen. I thought I’d become a top-tier star in no time, but I went out for dinner and when I came back, someone had kidnapped my Kuman Thong. My dreams of stardom shattered on the spot. Waaaah! Jiang Yao: Catch wild snacks, feed them to my wife, yummy. Cinema owner: A rich young man suddenly rented out my entire cinema. Late at night, he keeps bringing someone in a wedding gown and red veil to watch movies, and they’re always The Ring, The Grudge, or Midnight Meat Train! I made money, but I’m pretty sure they’re not human! Waaaah! Jiang Yao: Watch movies with my wife, yummy. The day finally comes when the evil spirit in the wedding gown allows Jiang Yao to lift its red veil. Jiang Yao, dressed in wedding clothes: Lift my wife’s veil, yummy. He lifts the veil, and it comes crashing down. He can’t hold back his tears. “Damn it, why didn’t anyone tell me the beautiful evil spirit in the wedding gown had a dick?!” Damn it! Whatever. Even if my wife has a dick, they’re still delicious! (A coming-of-age romance about a young Taoist exorcist top and a terrifying evil spirit in a wedding gown bottom, with a courtship and nurturing plot.) … … Theme: A young person should never give up in the face of hardship. In the end, all their efforts will be rewarded.