Lord of the Abyss

Lance had been alive for twenty years when he was suddenly told that he was the Chosen One destined to save the world and fight the Demon King. According to an ancient prophecy, he had to gather the six deputies of the archangels and destroy the six great Demon Kings wreaking havoc across the land.

After going through all that trouble to assemble his party, he discovered that the holy son he'd raised himself, who was always rubbing up against him, was a Demon King. The half-dragon mage who was always sleepy and useless at crucial moments was a Demon King. The dark elf ranger who couldn't walk past a gem without stopping, and even picked the decorations off enemies' armor, was a Demon King. The winged priest who healed people according to his mood and never spoke the truth was a Demon King. The foxfolk thief who could eat a ton in one sitting and was always complaining of hunger was a Demon King.

Even the little blacksmith, his childhood friend who'd grown up with him and was always bickering with him, was a freaking Demon King too!

And these six Demon Kings never did anything useful. All they wanted was to get their hands on Lance. They fought and competed for his attention, green with jealousy! The expedition to destroy the Demon Kings had turned into a Demon King dogfight. What was he supposed to do?!

They stole. They robbed. They kidnapped members of the royal family and demanded ransom. They won ten years' worth of a prince-elector's taxes at the Golden Spiral Tower casino. They sank the empire's most vaunted royal fleet...

Wanted posters fluttered across the continent like snowflakes. The combined bounties were enough to buy three duchies.

Lance was at a loss. What happened to being champions of justice? Why had they spent the entire journey swindling, cheating, robbing, drinking, gambling, visiting brothels, and even become fugitives wanted by every nation?!

And the worst part was that after they became fugitives, whenever they reached a checkpoint, the Demon Kings would hide under his skirt as pannier supports and carry Lance through.

The straight-laced Lance was forced into a noblewoman's long dress, his face beneath the veil burning with shame.

Could they please let him save the world properly for once?!

Lance: Our party promised to destroy the Demon Kings, so we're going to destroy them. We have to keep our word, right? You lot can decide among yourselves: will you kill each other, or line up and let me behead you? Pick one.