Yearning

Back in college, Fu Qingsong and Lu Yin Heng's story came to an abrupt, unfinished end. A lifelong bachelor, Lu Yin Heng went straight through his master's and doctoral degrees. Fu Qingsong did not return to Pingzhou until just before graduating with her doctorate. Around then, she received an invitation to a college reunion, but that evening she happened to have a blind date she could not skip. At the reunion, Lu Yin Heng became the target of a game of dares. His challenge was to call the sixteenth friend in the F section of his WeChat contacts. Lu Yin Heng counted down the list. When he reached sixteen, his gaze fell on his troublesome friend, "Fidel Fan Shihuan." Without another thought, he deleted him, making Fu Qingsong the sixteenth contact instead. Fan Shihuan was sharing all sorts of insights from his day when he soon realized he'd been deleted. Lu Yin Heng's friend request inbox promptly exploded: "Lu Yin Heng, are you crazy?" "I was just a little talkative. Did you really have to delete me?" "I seriously wonder if you even have any friends." He was crazy. After learning why Fu Qingsong was absent that evening, he felt an indescribable stirring in his heart. Though it was hard to face, he realized he was jealous. Fan Shihuan watched with nothing but amusement. "The sun must be rising in the west. Lu Yin Heng getting jealous over something like this? And you actually feeling inferior? That's beyond ridiculous." Perhaps love made people feel inferior, Lu Yin Heng thought, even someone as proud and confident as him. Time could not turn back, but people could meet again. When she stood before him once more, Lu Yin Heng knew he had to ask the question he'd kept buried in his heart. "Have you ever..." "Ever loved you?" Fu Qingsong answered without hesitation. "No. A fleeting crush when you're young doesn't count as love." His expression remained calm, but his gaze darkened in an instant. Then she continued, "It's not in the past tense." He almost doubted he'd heard her correctly. "What?" "It's not in the past tense, Lu Yin Heng." Looking at him, she said each word clearly: "Loving you is happening right now." There was no desperate necessity, no tragic parting. They were simply ordinary people in love, each with their own future to pursue, yet neither willing to let their feelings fall apart. So they chose to bury them deep and never speak of them. After all, friendship was steadier and longer-lasting than love. But perhaps neither of them had expected their feelings to be anything but ordinary. They were not like a glass of cool boiled water. They were lava. During all those silent days, they grew hotter and hotter, sending waves of scorching heat rolling in, day after day. Some might say it was nothing but a case of falling for someone's looks. But so what? With so many wonderful people in the world, "I still can't stop thinking about him/her." [What you think was a regret with no happy ending was simply my longing, my love unreturned.] [Reading Guide] 1. This is a story about life's uncertainties, growing up, courage, and choices. 2. Mutual unrequited love, a battle-of-wills romance between two passive personalities (). 3. Many scenes are awkward and made up. Readers who want historical accuracy or meticulous details, please steer clear. 4. Everyone has their own tastes, and people won't all think or like the same things. Enjoy reading, and click away if it's not for you. - Please add my other novel, Buried Silver in Huangzhou, to your reading list: At the border between two provinces, there is said to be an ancient place called "Huangzhou," where the notorious bandit Zhang Zhongjiang buried his silver and was laid to rest. A thousand years of change transformed the waters of that time into towering mountains, and "Buried Silver in Huangzhou" became a distant legend. Until one day, a woman appeared, claiming to be a descendant of the Zhang family. She said that what her ancestor Zhang Zhongjiang buried back then was not just gold and silver, but also the secret of an entire map. - Zhou Kan never asked anyone for help. Zhang Yao knew exactly what kind of man he was. As Zhou Kan himself put it, he had a few "unnecessary airs." A man like that seemed forever destined to have others come begging to him. Add his poor reputation in Beijing, and Zhang Yao could almost picture a demon with a green face and fangs: a man who stopped at nothing to get what he wanted, who could seem harmless while secretly setting traps without batting an eye, then make people willingly walk into them and beg him to save them. Even the King of Hell would think twice before getting a tattoo of him on his back. What's more, Zhou Kan had sought her out with an ulterior motive. But in the short time Zhang Yao had known him, she had heard him say the word "please" to her with her own ears, twice. Once, he asked her to leave him behind first if she ever found herself in danger. The other time, she was on Zhou Kan's back as he struggled through the mountain rain, sick and barely holding on, begging her not to give up on him. "Zhang Yao, stay alive," Zhou Kan said. At the time, Zhang Yao was barely conscious, her awareness drifting as he called her name again and again. "What about you?" "I'll survive too." Amid the pounding rain, the man's voice was unusually firm. "Because I'm going to get you out of here." Theme: What you think was a regret with no happy ending was simply my longing, my love unreturned.