HP: I Really Want to Date Snape

[The Ultimate Cheat Character Series] [Version One] Snape: Out after curfew, Slytherin... Which house are you in? Me: Slytherin... Snape: Sorry, I didn't catch that. Which house are you in? Me, obligingly: Gryffindor. Snape: Excellent. Gryffindor, ten points deducted. [How did Gryffindor become Gryffin-poor?] [Version Two] “Long, long ago, there were three Dark Lords in the wizarding world. The first was a hopeless romantic, the second was a lunatic...” “Then what about the third Dark Lord?” Snape answered Tang Ye without expression. “The third Dark Lord was an idiot. Son, don't follow his example.” Snape's son made a face. “Being a Dark Lord must have incredibly low intelligence requirements. Who'd want to be like him?” The Death Eaters who followed the low-IQ second Dark Lord and the third Dark Lord, an idiot: “…” [On the making of the third Dark Lord] [No male pregnancy. The kid was made through alchemy.] I'm fond of both Slytherin and Gryffindor. Dumbledore isn't bashed, and Voldemort isn't whitewashed. Come on! Let's all watch the protagonist raise a kid. Content warnings: Mary Sue and OOC alert! Original bottom A silly, romance-only story with no boss villain Gadget is included More or less, everyone gangs up on Voldemort, and everyone survives except the second Dark Lord. This story came about after reading too many Snape angst stories and frustrating plots. After being frustrated for ages, I figured that if you don't explode from frustration, you'll perish from it. Who cares how many cheat abilities there are? As long as the protagonist and plot I write are satisfying, that's what matters. Theme: Love