Even the Lame Got Tricked by Me Into Standing Up

Gu Ye, the third young master of the Gu family, was born slow-witted and had a stutter. You could explain a problem to him ten times and he still wouldn’t remember the answer. Even when someone hit him, he didn’t dare say a word. He was the shame of the wealthy elite. One Chinese New Year, his father flew into a rage and sent him back to the family’s rural hometown. To everyone’s surprise, when he returned, he seemed like a completely different person. Six months later, he got into the top university in the capital as the number-one student in his school!

The entire circle of wealthy families was stunned!

After his acceptance letter arrived, the Gu family searched for Gu Ye for three days. They finally found him beneath an inconspicuous pedestrian overpass, where the Gu Ye who used to be too afraid to speak up even when beaten was running a street stall. A few punks were pinned under his feet as he sold, drew, and hawked his wares: “Ghost-banishing talismans, Guanyin protection talismans, home-purifying talismans, demon-slaying talismans... Huge sale on talismans! For anyone destined to find them, just eighty-eight yuan each! Don’t miss out!” He glanced down at the men beneath his feet and smiled. “I made these talismans myself to help people mend their ways. I think each of you needs three.”

A sharp-tongued, combative occult master bottom who takes on the whole world and would rather fight than argue, paired with a refined scoundrel, a beast in gentleman’s clothing, a doting, scheming husband top. All those ridiculous talismans are made up to serve the plot. Don’t take them seriously! This story has anti-piracy settings. If you’ve read less than 60%, please come back in seventy-two hours. Lots of love~

Please show the author some love and add this to your favorites. I always finish what I start!

Weibo: Jinjiang-Heimao Nini

A new story in the same genre is now underway: I Sat Up in My Coffin, and Even Demons Must Kneel. Duan Anluo, the founder of the Mysticism Sect, was an unparalleled genius unseen in the occult world for a thousand years. He made a name for himself at sixteen, then suddenly vanished at twenty-three, with no one knowing whether he was alive or dead.

Five hundred years later, the supernatural resurges across the globe and strange occurrences abound. Duan Anluo awakens in a forbidden land.

The sect has fallen into decline. Its old mountain gate has long since crumbled into ruins, and even the plaque bestowed by the emperor was mistaken for an antique and sent to a museum.

The Mysticism Sect’s only remaining property is a dilapidated folk-custom shop: outside the Fifth Ring Road, with a floor area of just one hundred square meters, paper-covered windows, and paint peeling off the walls. Add the local rumors, and it has become a famous haunted house in the neighborhood.

The ninth-generation disciple has less spiritual power than the monkey Duan Anluo used to keep, and his talent is so poor he isn’t even fit to lead a horse. To pay the utility bills, he has no choice but to become a small-time streamer teaching people about the supernatural, explaining the ranks of paranormal creatures, how they come about, and how to stay safe. His tips barely make enough to get by.

Worst of all is the memory the original owner left behind.

According to those memories, the original owner carries the most evil ancient bloodline. He repeatedly fights against fate, only to be pushed along by an invisible hand, making one suicidal choice after another. In the end, the Son of Heaven will rip out his soul and seal it in the Eight Trigrams Furnace, leaving him unable to live or die.

Duan Anluo: No problem. Since the Heavenly Dao let me be reborn, that proves my very existence is the will of Heaven!

The first thing he does after climbing out of his coffin is find the darling of the Heavenly Dao, a boy five years younger than him, and slap him awake. “Hey, kid, I’m your dad. Call me Daddy.”

Next, he hangs all hundred or so of his grand-disciples on the wall. The tables have turned, and from now on he’ll make wishes to them. If they don’t come true, it must be because the feng shui of their burial place is bad. He’ll dig them up and bury them somewhere else.

He’ll also take on ten disciples, become the little sect leader’s great-grandfather, reopen the sect, and restore the Mysticism Sect to greatness!

Duan Anluo: I sat up in my coffin, and all demons and monsters had better kneel!

Theme: Good and evil are repaid in the end. Those who do wicked things will ultimately be punished.