Insectoid: A Leap Into the Abyss

[Warning] The main story has a bad ending, but the bonus chapters have a happy ending. The love interest dies by suicide. Told in first person. Everyone wants to get there in one leap, but I only want to leap down. A deeply devoted love interest who despises himself x a slow-to-warm-up partner Male x male This story is depressing. The love interest loathes himself intensely. If you can't handle that, please close the page now. I've added a few bonus chapters. P.P.S. This is fiction and has nothing to do with reality. The setting is fictional. Don't imitate anything in it; cherish your life. Coming soon: Can't We Be Together Just Because You're My Stepmom? After the college entrance exams ended, Xie Yan confessed to his crush at their classmates' final get-together, but all he got was a polite rejection: "I don't have feelings for you." Devastated, Xie Yan decided to turn his sorrow into motivation and started a summer job early to save up for tuition. But after he posted a photo of his hospital checkup form, his crush came looking for him again, saying in a muddle, "You and him won't have a good ending. Even if you get pregnant, marry me. At worst, I'll be his dad." Xie Yan: ? Though he had no idea what was going on, being together was a good thing, right? Somehow, Xie Yan ended up with a "baby in his belly" and its "stepfather." - Shi Yu saw the famous top student in his class, the one who made his heart skip a beat, confess to him. His mind went blank. He stumbled over his words, trying to turn him down gently, but the top student immediately understood and walked away, saying, "You're not interested in me, so I'll get going." His pride kept Shi Yu from trying to win him back right away. He was still figuring out how to find the right moment to confess properly when his father joyfully announced he'd found love again. The announcement came with a photo of two clasped hands and a pregnancy test form. Shi Yu recognized that hand instantly: it belonged to the top student, with fingers that looked made for playing piano. Shi Yu panicked. Shi Yu was stunned. Then he tried to appeal to Xie Yan, both emotionally and rationally, but no matter how much he pleaded, Xie Yan only looked back at him in confusion. Shi Yu thought about how irresponsible his father was and how he could never raise a child properly. He was living proof. Gritting his teeth, he decided he couldn't let an innocent child suffer the same fate. (Mostly because his dad was the person he had a crush on.) So he accepted it, and prepared to welcome a new "child" into his household registration ten months later. - Ten months later, Xie Yan nudged the "child's" father beside him and whispered that their son was hungry again and wanted barbecue and bubble tea. Shi Yu: Sure. Before, it was our daughter craving fruit, and she couldn't sleep in the middle of the night unless she got a fruit platter from the green-skinned train. Now it's a son. What's next, twins, a boy and a girl? Xie Yan: Maybe it's triplets. Shi Yu: ... Fine, I'll buy it. A slow-to-catch-on top student, the bottom x a rich young master who becomes the third party for love, the top Theme: Life should be cherished.