Vampire Knight Short Stories: Red on the Left, White on the Right

Hello aunt, this is Fat Cesang taking orders√ In fact, I was a little surprised when I received the vampire order this time, because it is rare to see vampire fans nowadays, and I also watched this anime that was very popular at the time when I was in junior high school. I just remember that I had a deep feeling at that time. So let's get started. This fanfic by the author is a short story, and it is a separate and independent story. After reading it, I felt that my smile was astringent, just like drinking a cup of milk coffee. It is obviously sweetened with sugar, but I can always taste a hint of bitterness. The author expresses great admiration for being able to sit in such a situation w. While reading carefully, the author has handled it very well whether it is the restoration of the characters or the structure of the plot. It is better to say that the author's writing skills and writing style are very mature. However, after reading the whole story, there are still some small problems that need to be pointed out. For example, here in the first chapter, ["Human food?" Zhi Kui was surprised. "I heard it's delicious." Limo said, tearing open the box, picking out a chocolate bar and stuffing it into Zhikui's mouth without any doubt. "Is it delicious?" Zhikui nodded, her mouth filled with a rich and sweet taste of chocolate. Limo also picked one up and put it into his mouth, then touched Zhikui's little head and said, "Well, from now on, I will feed you with this." The relationship between the owner and the pet began from that moment, and it was at that moment that the fate of the two people was closely linked. Here I feel that the meaning and connotation that the author wants to express is not very clear, and the language connection in the middle is relatively stiff, giving people a not very smooth feeling. It may be that the author is eager to express, but the way of handling is still slightly flawed. Similar problems also appeared later, which will not be mentioned one by one here. It is recommended that the author should carefully consider when portraying the emotions of the characters or connecting the plot before writing, and try to perfectly present the emotions he wants to express in front of the readers. There is also the way of expressing the plot of the story. Although the author himself said that there is a running story in the copy, I think it is not good for the plot to be too straightforward or plain. Although this article is only a short story, I think more attention should be paid to this aspect. A smooth and full plot is the motivation for readers to continue reading, but an overly simple and pale narrative mode still makes the plot a bit pale and empty. In the third Chapter "In the name of the father", this problem is more obvious. After reading the whole chapter, I found that the description method is inexplicably a bit like poetry. Many sentences can obviously be modified to make it more vivid, but the author just goes through it in one stroke and changes the tone too quickly. This makes the plot seem more bland and even boring. Therefore, it is recommended that the author practice his writing more and try to describe the plot more vividly. Finally, I would like to thank the author for writing such a great article. I can intuitively feel the warmth in the memories that the author focuses on, with a touch of bitterness and melancholy. I hope this story can gradually remind us of the past memories of those characters. [Piez: I thought it was a short review because I saw that the author's word count was less than 10,000 words. However, my secretary told me that it was a long review and was slightly modified. I'm sorry for posting the order so late QAQ] ——10.14. Pangci Base

Hello aunt, this is Liu Shajun. I am extremely honored to have this opportunity to write a long review for my friend. My Chinese language skills are not very deep, so please bear with me if there are any typos or incorrect sentences. Because this article is not long, I read it over and over again. Finally, I decided to start typing. The whole article is boring. There are obviously some funny parts, which make people feel relaxed, but if you read it again and again, you will find that there is actually hidden pain underneath. Here I suggest that the author use a special paragraph to separate the sentence ["I want to be a member of the family who does night harvesting."], And at this time, you can properly describe the eyes of Coni Sheng. You can also appropriately increase the expression on Ye Guo's face when he hears this sentence, preferably a stunned one. Instead of jumping directly to Ye Guo, it explains why Conesheng wants to be his "family". This kind of connection may not seem abrupt when I write it, but when I read it carefully, it seems a little stiff. I suggest you borrow what I said before about how Ye Qian was immersed in memories when he was stunned, so that it can be better connected. [He just felt that there was a little empty space in his heart over the past few years. ] In fact, you can add some emphatic phrases before this sentence, such as the word "true". This can better reflect Ye Gao's mood of caring but not saying anything. I personally feel that even if he has never met his parents, Ye Qian must be the kind of person who cares about them. The addition of the word "true" is used for emphasis. But if you really want to change it, it is recommended to change it to [Really, he just feels that for so many years, there has always been a place in his heart that is a little empty. . I feel that Yokari is actually a bit of a duplicitous person. This can be seen from the fact that in the TV show, he clearly cares about Zero but uses harsh words towards her, and takes various actions to save Zero. Therefore, it is recommended to modify the sentence used in the above sentence. And if the author writes the plot in which Conisheng saves Yeqiang and gives Yeqiang a gun, the purpose is to highlight the importance that Conisheng and Yeqiang attach to each other, it is recommended to add a little description. That is to say, the scene where Conesheng fell to the ground after Yecai hit the vampire can increase Yecai's reaction to seeing Conesheng's blood. At this time, you can take the opportunity to express some of the importance that Ye Guao himself has not noticed. [If Ai Sheng didn't take the girl to see a movie or play around, they would have the opportunity to compare their abilities, then go to an izakaya to drink some wine, order a plate of fried fish, or just sit on a bench and look at the sky and smoke. I always feel like something is missing from this sentence. Generally speaking, after ordering a plate of fried fish, you can add the sentence "Let's talk nonsense", and after looking at the sky and smoking, you can add the sentence "Swallow the smoke and let's chat together." Then in order to cope with the turning sentence below [Perhaps a man will become a real man only when he meets a woman he loves deeply. ], You can add [But Ye Qian feels that Zhuosheng is becoming less and less stupid. I don't know if it's intentional or if it's true. . Until the end, Ye Gao didn't realize it. Never. Maybe you, the author, didn't give him this chance. Maybe he didn't seize and create opportunities himself. I have to say that after reading many of the author's articles, I sincerely lament that you are really suitable for writing sadistic articles. There is obviously a layer of joy on the surface, but there is still a delicate sadness hidden deep inside. After reading the end, I had to read the beginning again, returning to Ye Qian's already old appearance. But Coni Sheng didn't. Coni Sheng always stayed in his memory. [That guy has been dead for many years. One sentence, obviously simple and clear, but filled with a lot of melancholy and confusion. Some things and some memories can really only be left to one of them. That's what Zhui Sheng said, saying: My teeth are as beautiful as pictures. Let those bitter smokes dissipate. As long as you know that he still remembers and misses you occasionally, that's fine. Produced by Chang Chang Chang Ping Pu Liu Shajun