That’s What Childhood Friends Are For!

When Maria was in elementary school, two people held important places in her heart: The world's worst nemesis, that hateful little curly-haired brat; The world's best friend, her adorable Hagi-chan. The following year, they were put in the same class. How did things end up like this? - My friend's friend is my nemesis. By middle school, Hagi was used to hearing classmates call out, "Hagiwaraaa!" whenever they needed help. He'd get up at once and go break up his two friends, who had inevitably found another excuse to squabble. God is fair: He gave Maria and Matsuda good looks and impressive fighting skills, but took away their ability to read the room. He'd comfort the loser and extort three drinks from the winner. A happy arrangement was reached. In high school, Matsuda was annoyed to discover that when the three of them walked together, their shadows on the ground still made him look like the obvious short one. Damn it, did those two eat a growth mushroom or something? They'd both shot past six feet and left him behind! And he'd caught Hagi secretly packing Maria a lunch. He must have been forced into it, right? How could Matsuda miss out on something that good? He'd have to go force Hagi too: - Add another serving of curry rice, with a soft-boiled egg on top. Different times, the same scene. Each of them had, at some point, said: "Hey, you two, aren't you getting along a little too well? What about me?" Childhood friends stick together for life, and there's always one who's a real pain. There are three childhood friends, so whoever isn't there gets the blame. That's what childhood friends are for! P.S. Their adult heights: Hagi, over 190 cm; Maria, 188 cm; Matsuda, about 180 cm, rounding up. (These figures were provided by the childhood friend among the three. One of the boys gave them a thumbs-down.) (Screenshot saved for posterity.) Work has filled me with resentment, so I've decided to write a story about childhood memories with no office vibes. Easygoing and happy, with no worries lasting overnight. Just growing up with childhood friends, bickering and fooling around together. The cover was drawn by my friend A Sheng. The author also drew a version in the style of those reference-column illustrations. After much thought, I picked the less abstract one of the two works of abstract art, lol. Maybe one day, when my drawing skills explode and I can create stick figures that shake heaven and earth, I'll make a new cover. This story is entirely fictional and has no connection to any real country, region, organization, or person. The level of technology during the protagonists' school years is assumed to be from the pre-smartphone era. We may discuss Detective Conan science when necessary. The dead stay dead. Everyone in the Police Academy group survives. No pairing people off for the sake of pairings. This contains lots of childhood diaries about kids squabbling like little chicks. - This story will go premium this Thursday, with 10,000 words released that day. Chapters 35 onward will be locked retroactively, so please don't buy them again if you've already read them. - The pure-love rice bowl from the Suwa family, "White Rice, Soba, and Spaghetti," is complete. The chaotic-evil short story "Will the District's Zhuge Liang Believe in Myths Too?" is complete. The Police Academy group-centered short story collection "Stories of Time's Flowing Waters" is available now. Enjoy! My new undercover-team story, currently being drafted, "Fake Cigarettes, Fake Booze, Fake Friends, but Detective Conan Childhood Friends," is available to preorder in my author page. Blurb: Mochizuki Nanami, 25, a researcher of ancient scripts. She specializes in deciphering a variety of lost ancient inscriptions, Linear A, and codes. She works for an archaeology company owned by a large multinational conglomerate operating across multiple industries. It's a wonderful company. First, its latest undisclosed biotechnology cured her congenital illness. Then it offered her a generous salary to pursue the research she loves most. There's just one strange rule: everyone in the company has to use a codename. The head office even gives exclusive codenames to employees who have achieved outstanding results in their fields. For example, there's the idol-loving Vodka, Gin, the cold-faced man with a warm heart and big-brother aura, and Vermouth, who has kept her youth through secret means. Then things got even stranger. At a company party, she discovered that her cousin and her childhood friend from the neighborhood were there too. Weren't they forming a band? They'd even picked stage names and forbidden her from ever mentioning their real names. So why were they working as interns at an archaeology company? In an ignored corner of the room, Obiang launched into a one-sided attack on Bourbon and Scotch: "I knew it. No band could ever make it with you in it. No, forget making it, it couldn't even stay alive!" "The band broke up because that tone-deaf Morofushi Dai insisted on crying and begging to be the lead singer. That's obviously the reason!" "Amuro, calm down. Morofushi didn't do that... Of course, he did have something to do with our band never making it big." "Don't always take his side! You're way too indulgent with him! Never mind, Sis Nana, you've worked for years and saved up a decent amount. If you ever can't afford food, just ask me for help. But don't lose your dreams and turn into a corporate drone! Deciphering lost ancient curses doesn't suit you at all!" A childhood friend who vanished after graduation to play music, a cousin who vanished along with him to start a band, a company with frequent personnel changes, and her, a senior employee. Mochizuki Nanami resolved to get them back on track before they starved to death. Then she spotted her two childhood friends, now her new colleagues, skipping work in broad daylight to fix pipes and deliver packages. Good grief. She wondered whether Gin, the HR manager, would be willing to leave them two security guard job offers. - What's it like to discover that your childhood friend has become a codename-holding executive in a transnational criminal organization? Scotch sighed. Bourbon struggled to find the words. They'd better figure out a way to rescue this woman, who's been at the company for seven years and still hasn't realized it's not a legitimate business! Theme: Treasure your youth, and don't let it go to waste.