My Pet Monkey King

Sun Wukong, the Fighting Buddha, was bored out of his mind, so he leaped back into the Buddha's palm. One somersault later, he landed in the magical world of the West and became a big-eared, big-eyed, short little... house-elf?! He'd thought there'd be no harm in enjoying himself for a few days, but the tightening spell had come along too. That might still have been manageable, but where the heck had his Ruyi Jingu Bang gone?! Damn it, Tathagata, you're messing with me! And so Sun Wukong, the house-elf in Dobby's secret identity, joined forces with the even more talkative-than-Tang Sanzang Lucius, the more violent-than-Princess Iron Fan Narcissa, the cuter-than-Red Boy Draco, the more rebellious-than-Nezha little Harry, the more gluttonous-than-Zhu Bajie Crabbe and Goyle, the more slippery-than-Taibai Jinxing Dumbledore, and the easier-to-trick-than-the-White Dragon Horse Voldemort, among others, to put on a grand comedy of mayhem at **... Note: The characters will stay as close to the original as possible in public. Once they're home and the doors are shut, though, all bets are off: expect everyone to act out of character and make snarky comments. If that's not for you, please think twice before reading. Main pairing: Draco/Harry. (This story begins when Draco is six and ends when he's twelve, so please spare me the requests for steamy scenes.) Secondary pairings: Sirius/Regulus, Aaron Wen (Celtic god of death)/Qin Guang (King of Hell), White Impermanence/Black Impermanence Pseudo-pairing: Wukong/soul fragment (Wukong: "I'm a monk!") Purchase info: All paid chapters cost 637 points. Chapters outside the reversed-paywall section cost 300 points, starting from chapter 63. Links to my other works: "The Holy Grail War of Misfortune" "Searching for a Soul" (set 19 years later, Scorpius/Albus or Albus/Scorpius, no set top or bottom, GS) "Hogwarts: The Prequel" (GS, set a thousand years ago) "Rescuing Voldemort" (transmigration between the past and future, GS, VH/HV) "The Beautiful Life of Muggle-Born Draco" (little Draco returns to 1980 and becomes a Muggle girl to save his family, with romantic tension) "The Happy Prisoner of Azkaban" (a faithful-to-canon angst story covering years six and seven) Theme: