Maomao is a dog who has seen it all.
Across eight reincarnations, he's been a pope, a favored concubine, the local neighborhood boss, a beauty pageant champion...
This time, he's just going to lie flat.
*
Born in a pet shop. Nice.
His barking sounds so awful that no one wants him, so he's thrown away. No problem.
A little boy finds him on the street and takes him home. Pretty good.
The little boy sells him to a lab. Sure... wait, what? Sells me where?
*
Maomao leaps off the operating table and races back, howling, to get revenge on the little boy.
You damn bastard, you actually sold me to a lab! I, General Maomao, will teach you the taste of hell... Wait, why are you living in a garbage dump?
And there's a drunk dad.
A layabout big brother.
A sharp-tongued big sister.
They see me and grin instead of feeling guilty.
Are you stupid?
*
This one really is stupid.
If you live in a hell like this, you're either crazy or stupid.
Maomao, who was planning to lie flat, has no choice but to stand up and take charge of the family.
*
The drunk dad is sent out to buy booze.
The layabout big brother becomes a male model.
The sharp-tongued big sister is sent to stage accidents for compensation.
The stupid little brother... can train in sports, I guess.
*
The drunk dad becomes a candidate for governor.
The layabout big brother becomes a great scholar.
The sharp-tongued big sister becomes a top lawyer.
And the stupid little brother... he's the most successful of them all!
He becomes the bodyguard of the world's greatest dog, Earl Lancaster Maomao, who was knighted by the Queen herself.
*
Maomao: We dogs are born good at playing ball.
Maomao: Eleven people can't beat one dog. Are you all getting benched?
Maomao: Tactics? A dog fetching a frisbee is a tactic!
Maomao: I really like the World Cup. It's so convenient for holding dog food.
"Reader Advisory"
1. A fun, comedic story.
2. The England manager uses the old-school dog-fetching-the-frisbee tactic.
3. He's a real dog, not a human in disguise.
4. I'll add more if I think of anything.
5. We're coming for the dog-crowning championship!
Theme: An entry in the World's Best Dog-Loving Competition.
[F1] 19, Dropped Out, World Champion
The Star of the Show in New York at the Turn of the Millennium
After Losing the Succession Battle
Rolling Around in the Mud as a Trust-Fund Baby [Football]
[F1] The Paddock Playboy Wants to Grow Old with You
I Gave Up Football and Switched to Racing to Save the System
[F1] The Sister-in-Law Tea Party
[Football] After My Son's Teammate Proposed to Me