If You Date Online, Remember to Switch to the Rural Channel

The summer after Ming Wan got into college, a group of people egged him on to post a photo of himself in the freshman group chat.

He had no choice but to pull out his thousand-yuan smartphone, take a blurry picture on the spot, and send it.

A few minutes later, an administrator unsent the photo, and someone sent him a private message.

[Classmate, they were just joking. You don't have to take it seriously.]

[Also... you're really good-looking.]

The other person was very friendly and kept coming to chat with him. Ming Wan learned his name was Yan Yunxiao, and that he was also a freshman.

After chatting and getting to know each other, the two began an online relationship.

Yan Yunxiao was clingy and always asked to spend hours on the phone with him.

Ming Wan hesitantly agreed, but always blocked the entire camera view with his face during video calls.

Yan Yunxiao: "Did I just hear something strange?"

Ming Wan: "(⊙o⊙)..."

Ming Wan: "Uh... it's nothing. That was a chicken."

*

The other person suddenly says he'll come to Ming Wan's home and take him to school.

Ming Wan refuses, because...

"But if you come here, first you'll have to take a four-hour high-speed train, then a two-hour bus to the city, then another hour and a half on a coach to the town. Finally, you'll have to hire a private motorcycle taxi and ride for half an hour to get to my house."

Yan Yunxiao: "..."

Yan Yunxiao comes anyway.

Just as expected, he can't handle life there. As soon as he arrives, a goose chases him for several kilometers, and he runs off in a panic, begging to take Ming Wan away.

Ming Wan: "I... I can't yet. We haven't harvested the peanuts at home."

Yan Yunxiao doesn't look too happy.

But the next day, he still shoulders a hoe and goes to harvest peanuts with him.

So at dinner, Ming Wan gives him an extra bowl of rice. "I braised the goose that bullied you to avenge you. Eat up and get your revenge on that goose."

At last, it's time to go to college. Ming Wan packs his things and leaves with him.

Yan Yunxiao looks at the bucket in his hand and the red plastic basin on his back, his mouth twitching. "...Do you really have to bring all this junk?"

Ming Wan looks a little sad. "It's not junk. It's everything I own. I'll have to bring it with me when we get married, too."

Yan Yunxiao grits his teeth, then reaches out and takes it from him. "Give it to me."

Reader's guide:

1. The gong can be pretty sharp-tongued sometimes, with a spoiled young master's attitude, but he'll come around later.

2. The blurb is written to highlight the funny premise. The main text takes precedence.

3. Not everything will be realistic. Some details are designed for the plot.

4. Both are virgins. It's all about romance.

▶ Upcoming historical danmei: Your Majesty, I Must Remonstrate to the Death!!! Blurb:

College student Xi He stays up late during finals week reading a badly ended novel, then suddenly dies and transmigrates into a cannon-fodder character with the same name.

The protagonist in the book, Xie Changling, is an unloved prince who is sent to an enemy kingdom as a hostage when he's very young.

He suffers terribly.

After enduring humiliation for years, he eventually murders his father and brothers on his way to the throne, becoming an outright tyrant.

The tyrant never cares about governing. He attends court only when he feels like it and kills people on a whim, leaving everyone at court in constant fear.

A few years later, the enemy kingdom annexes his country, and he becomes the ruler of a fallen state.

Xi He's job is to change the course of the kingdom's fall.

"...Isn't that asking a bit much?"

Luckily, the System gives him a golden finger that lets him share the tyrant's pain.

In short, if Xi He feels pain, the tyrant feels it too. If Xi He dies, the tyrant dies with him.

So Xi He begins a career of remonstrating to the death, treating life and death as insignificant.

When the tyrant wants to exile honest officials, Xi He says, "Your Majesty, I must remonstrate to the death!"

When the tyrant wants to use the treasury to build himself a mausoleum, Xi He says, "Your Majesty, I must remonstrate to the death!!"

In a fit of rage, Xie Changling grabs his sword and tries to kill Xi He.

Xi He runs around a pillar, shouting, "Your Majesty, please think twice!!!"

The ministers present can't help but worry for Xi He and marvel at his audacity.

Just when they all think Xi's life is about to come to an end,

three days later, Xi He attends court again, safe and sound.

Three months later, Xi He visits the palace more and more often, becoming one of the emperor's closest officials.

Much later, Xie Changling skips court for several days in a row because he's too busy indulging in pleasure.

Xi He reaches out from beneath the covers, his voice hoarse. "Your Majesty, I must remonstrate to the death... Mmph..."

But Xie Changling cuts him off.

A minister who always threatens to remonstrate to the death but is actually terrified of dying, the shou x a tyrant who doesn't care if he lives, but keeps living anyway, the gong

Theme: Don't discriminate against anyone!