Two Little Fools

Cheng Yunqi is an idiot, and so is Bai Xiaomi.

Cheng Yunqi is a big idiot who’s just a little cleverer, while Bai Xiaomi is a pretty little idiot.

They live in a rented room that’s only ten square meters. The bathroom is tiny, and the light keeps flickering, which always scares Bai Xiaomi a little.

Every night, Cheng Yunqi goes to the bathroom with Bai Xiaomi. Even when Bai Xiaomi wets the bed, he doesn’t get angry. They just toss the dirty sheets into the washing machine together.

Bai Xiaomi only knows how to cook four dishes, and he’s still learning the fifth, but Cheng Yunqi praises him in advance: “Wow, how is my darling so clever?”

Cheng Yunqi used to be top of his class in arithmetic at a school for students with intellectual disabilities, but he still can’t work out how much money they have saved. Bai Xiaomi still tells him, “Hubby, you’re super amazing, the smartest!”

One day, Cheng Yunqi says, “I saw an ad on a utility pole for a house that only costs 200,000 yuan!”

Bai Xiaomi has no idea what that means, but his eyes light up as he goes, “Wow!”

The two clever little idiots decide to buy a house.

They have only 110,000 yuan in savings, and the house costs 200,000, so they’ll have to take out a loan.

But Bai Xiaomi’s mother says, “A house that cheap would have been bought by someone else already, even if it isn’t a scam.”

Their teacher also tells them, “People with intellectual disabilities can’t take out a home loan on their own. You need your guardian’s permission to buy a house.” But Cheng Yunqi’s parents kicked him out long ago.

Why is it so hard for two idiots to buy a house of their own?

A month passes, then two. The ad is still on the utility pole. Cheng Yunqi takes off his delivery helmet, and he and Bai Xiaomi call the number together.

“I-I’m an idiot, and my wife is an idiot too. Could you... make it a little cheaper?”

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Little Bonus Scene:

Cheng Yunqi is a delivery rider. Every month, he buys a bunch of orange-yellow flowers to bring home to their rented room.

Bai Xiaomi likes orange-yellow. The first time Cheng Yunqi gave him flowers, Bai Xiaomi shouted “I love them!” several times, then jumped into his arms and kissed him.

Back then, Cheng Yunqi hadn’t fallen out with his parents yet. He lived in a luxurious, spacious apartment and was an idiot young master.

Now, Cheng Yunqi rides an old electric scooter, carrying a basket of yellow flowers through the run-down roads of the urban village, then places them in Bai Xiaomi’s hands.

Bai Xiaomi still shouts, “I love them!” and kisses him.

“I love flowers, I love yellow, I love my hubby!”

The floor of their rented room is old and warped. Bai Xiaomi takes the flowers Cheng Yunqi gives him and tucks them one by one into the gaps between the floorboards.

Two little idiots sleep on a bed one meter wide.

Flowers bloom beneath it.

[Cheerful big idiot top who works to support the family but is easily scammed × pretty little idiot bottom who gets lost easily but is devoted to her husband]

Reader Advisory:

1. Both leads are adults with mild intellectual disabilities. They can care for themselves, clearly understand that they are in a romantic relationship, express affection, consent, and refusal, and take responsibility for their decisions.

2. The author hasn’t done thorough research into the intellectual disability-related details, only a cursory bit.

3. The top is a virgin, the bottom isn’t. As for why an idiot wouldn’t be a virgin, sigh...

4. Their romance is sweet, and they both adore each other, but there are some angsty parts elsewhere. Life is bound to be a little hard for two idiots. OTZ

Theme: Work hard to live!