[Three Kingdoms] My Lord, Your Son Is Gay!

1.

Years later, Bai Ke, locked away in a dark little room, would still think back countless times to that distant afternoon when he first met Cao Cao.

If time could really turn back, he would use every ounce of strength he had to shout when that man came walking toward him:

“My lord, your son is gay, he’s gay!!!”

2.

At the end of the Eastern Han dynasty, the Han court was crumbling, warlords divided the land, and the realm was split apart.

Bai Ke was an unlucky guy who had somehow been bound to a System. Just because he’d made a spoiled brat cry in the modern world, he was kicked straight back to the Eastern Han.

The System’s mission was simple and clear: “Sweetie, become a top strategist and you can stay alive.”

Bai Ke’s face was blank. “What if I don’t?”

The System replied gently, “Then you can wait to die, sweetie.”

Bai Ke: …Could you stop saying such terrifying things in that sickly sweet voice?

He’d planned to find some corner to lie low in and take things one day at a time. But just before his new boss died, he grabbed Bai Ke and entrusted him with everything, his eyes full of emotion:

“The fate of our Yellow Turbans… is in your hands.”

Bai Ke’s pupils shook. “What Yellow Turbans?! Aren’t we just an ordinary rebel army?!”

“Boss, say something! Boss!!”

His boss had already gone to meet his maker, leaving Bai Ke standing there in utter confusion. The surviving Yellow Turbans all turned their eyes on him, and Bai Ke was forced to shoulder this enormous burden that had dropped out of nowhere.

But the bigger problem was that his rebel army was the very Yellow Turban force Cao Cao was chasing through Yan Province. More specifically, they were the old, weak, sick, and disabled who had been left behind.

To escape the disaster in Yan Province, Bai Ke racked his brains to divert the danger elsewhere. After going to incredible lengths, he finally set out on the run with this group of old and infirm stragglers.

But halfway through, his boss’s son suddenly sprang out from the roadside, wearing a hearty grin that practically screamed “Praise me!”

“Strategist! I just snatched a whole group of people!”

Bai Ke’s heart skipped. He slowly turned to look at the three people behind him: Madam Bian, watching warily; the teenage Cao Pi, tense and on guard; and Cao Zhi, wailing in his swaddling clothes.

Bai Ke fell silent for three seconds, then said woodenly:

“…Why not just go snatch Cao Ang for me too?”

The other man’s eyes lit up. “I’ll go right now!”

Bai Ke threw himself at him. “Get back here!”

The pairing is set: Cao Ang. No switching or breaking them up.

P.S. Strictly speaking, Cao Cao should be addressed as Lord Cao, but I used “my lord” for the joke.

Here’s a coming-soon novel: We Look Down on That Streamer!

1.

How Can a Commoner Like Me Survive at an Aristocratic Academy?

This hit survival game is set in a luxurious aristocratic academy and boasts an incredibly high degree of freedom. Players take on the role of a dirt-poor scholarship student entering an elite school for the first time. They have just one goal: graduate successfully.

But what really made the game take the internet by storm was the huge prize the developers dangled in front of everyone: the first player to graduate would win a million in cash!

Of course, the developers had no intention of letting anyone take the money without a struggle. The map was full of bizarre ways to die and elaborate Game Over scenarios, leaving players everywhere on the verge of tears:

What do you mean I starved to death because I couldn’t afford food?

This is ridiculous! Why was I expelled just because I failed my final exams?! I came to play a game, not go to school!

Before long, top-tier stars across the major gaming livestreams were all showing off their skills:

A certain straight-A student streamer: “Burning the midnight oil tonight. I swear I’ll claim the top spot in my grade!”

A certain lifestyle streamer: “Tips for legal part-time jobs and extreme budgeting as a high school student.”

A short-tempered streamer passing by: “What do you mean, playing a game? Resisting the tyrant is what matters!”

While livestreams across the internet were overflowing with variety and fierce competition, one stream with a very different vibe was singled out for widespread scorn and relentless mockery.

The reason was simple:

A streamer named Bai Yang had shamelessly, with absolutely no self-respect, hooked up with the student council president, the most powerful person in the entire school!

2.

Facing a screen full of furious accusations and claims that he was riding the president’s coattails, Bai Yang immediately protested:

What do you mean, “hooked up”? Don’t you dare sully the pure and flawless friendship between me and my good buddy!

Livestream chat: Vomit.jpg / Have some shame, streamer!

The chat began listing the streamer’s crimes:

1. He spent every rare free-conversation card he got from quests on the president, while using the System’s preset dialogue with everyone else. Streamer, tell us yourself, does saying “Serving a beautiful lady is my greatest honor” to an NPC sound like something a normal person would say?

2. He checks in at the president’s office every single day, rain or shine, without missing once. You’re not even this diligent about checking in to your livestream!

3. What kind of good buddy says, “You smell so good, bro!”?

…

The evidence was clear, and there was plenty more where that came from.

But the streamer still stubbornly denied everything.

The forum even opened a hugely popular betting thread just for this:

[Take a guess: when will that gay-as-hell streamer finally show his true colors?]

[Day one: the streamer didn’t.]

[Day two: the streamer didn’t.]

…

After the game ended and the livestream never came back, the thread gradually sank into obscurity. Then one day, a bombshell reply suddenly shot it right back to the top:

[Day 520: the streamer came out of the closet!]

Original poster:

[…I knew it. Hah, crafty gay man.]

3.

Later, whenever someone asked how Bai Yang and Ji Quan had gotten together, Bai Yang would always look back fondly on their “romantic” first meeting:

It was the first time in his life he’d met an NPC with such a poisonous tongue. Bai Yang got so mad that he immediately started arguing with him online. The game had such a high degree of freedom that they nearly ended up fighting it out in the fountain plaza of the aristocratic academy.

That was when Bai Yang knew:

This NPC was no ordinary character!

Premise: All I want is for the people to live in peace.