After the Proud Son of Heaven Is Thrust into a Crack Ship Fanfic

Saving this idea for now. I'll polish the blurb later:

Couple: outstanding manly top x Celestial Dragon bottom

[Advance warning: The author may develop a physical aversion halfway through writing this premise and make major changes as a result. Even a joke premise can force the author to overcome major personal squicks. The one unchanging flavor of this premise is the couple dynamic: outstanding manly top x Celestial Dragon bottom.]

There is a certain kind of person: perfect, powerful, and charming, they are the undisputed darlings of heaven.

Until they become the top in a crack ship fanfic.

They fall head over heels for men they barely even know, love them so intensely they lose their minds and forget their own feelings, until they lose themselves.

Without exception, these men are pretty, petite and delicate, with pale, translucent skin.

Men and women all over the world go crazy for them, simply because they are the bottoms in fanfics.

And the darlings of heaven in those fanfics fight tooth and nail over these bottoms, getting jealous of men, women, old people, children, and even cats and dogs.

Raise your voice, and it's time for the groveling redemption arc.

Talk to another man and upset the bottom, and it's time for the groveling redemption arc.

The bottom kisses another man, you get jealous and force him into a relationship, and then it's time for the groveling redemption arc.

System: [You need to play the "perfect top" in the fanfic and follow the main plot of bootlicker ➡ coercion ➡ groveling redemption arc ➡ bootlicker ➡ perfect boyfriend. Side plots include defeating the bottom's first love, jealousy, getting cheated on and begging to get back together in the rain, more jealousy, competing with several men for the bottom's affection and coming out on top, and even more jealousy. Remember, jealousy is the core of this trope. You must get jealous of every human or animal that appears around the bottom.]

Darlings of heaven: ????? Who am I? Who is this guy?

Darling of heaven 1: Thanks, but I'm not into men under 185 cm. His mature, handsome, rich uncle is more my type.

Darling of heaven 2: Thanks, I think I'm way prettier than him. I don't like people who aren't as good-looking as I am.

Darling of heaven 3: Uh, what if I can't stand stupid people?

Darling of heaven 4: Oh my god, why does he spill milk all over himself when he drinks it? And he burps like a baby!

Darling of heaven 5: Wow, his number of visible abs is an astonishing zero, his height is an astonishing 168 centimeters, and the number of times he passes out while sleeping with other people is an astonishing every single time. And the probability that I'll be abused once we're together is an astonishing one hundred percent!

Darling of heaven 6: Am I the only one concerned that my body inexplicably got taller and bulkier? Can I please have my graceful figure back...

Saved 2026.7.17

Theme: Against OOC characterization