Wind and Moon

I am very afraid of being at night, because at night I always feel that there is someone beside me, and he is my lover. I can distinguish reality clearly, so I know that I don't have hallucinations, but he has existed for decades, which can't help but confuse me... I am not mentally ill, but how can I explain whether he is a person after decades of life traces? (Lightning protection: more personal, first person, no habitual writing routines and unexpected lightning points, etc.) Intention: network