Emperor Daddy, My Son Desperately Needs Money for Formula

I didn't find out until I was eighteen that the world I lived in was a novel.

It was called "The Pregnant Runaway: The Empire's Emperor Kneels and Begs Me to Get Back Together [ABO]."

And I was the genius alpha baby who could talk at one, run at two, analyze stocks at three, speak eight languages at five, and make money with hacking skills.

In the original story, I worked overtime to bring the leads together, finally pushing the whole book to its HE ending when I was six.

And I became the Empire's precious Crown Prince.

But now, there are two bugs.

First, I couldn't talk at one, couldn't run at two, couldn't analyze stocks at three, and at five, my English was limited to "banana" and "I love you."

Since I wasn't smart, clever, or cute, and had no hacking skills, I never crossed swords with my biological dad, hacked into the Imperial System, or thought, "Wow, this man looks like me. Could he be my other dad?"

As a result, my omega dad ran away while pregnant for eighteen years, and still hasn't cleared up the misunderstanding with my alpha dad or reached their happy HE ending.

Second, my wife is pregnant.

That's right. I'm the useless loser completely at odds with this Mary Sue novel. I smoke, skip class, date, get into fights, and got a noble omega pregnant.

My gorgeous wife is obedient, sweet, and gentle. Now she's come to elope with me, belly and all.

My father-in-law says he's going to find someone to kill me.

My omega dad just reunited with my alpha dad. Neither of them knows how to communicate, and my alpha dad thinks I'm a younger substitute stray dog my omega dad raised.

And he's secretly planning to find someone to kill me, too.

Me: o_O

As the useless loser I am, I took my wife and child in the middle of the night and knocked on the palace doors of my emperor biological dad.

Dad! Don't kill me!! You're my real father!!!

Come on, little darling, say hi to Grandpa~

Um... I don't mind if you and my dad continue with the whole love-hate, broken-up-then-reunited, groveling-after-your-wife routine...

But... could you send some money for baby formula first?

Of course, if you're okay with me moving in with my wife and son and living off you, that would be even better ∩_∩

Emperor: ...

Emperor: ...

Emperor: Of course. You are most welcome.

Emperor: ...Now put down the world-destroying particle beam gun on your shoulder.

.

Third-person narration, HE.

This is a story about a Crown Prince bringing his wife and child home to mooch off his parents, with his parents' romance as the backdrop.

A "useless," troublesome moocher seme x a "well-behaved," beautiful, pseudo-human uke

The uke is a new species in the universe, not human.

Premise: Good parents are the greatest support a child can have.