I'm Definitely Going to Be This Tyrant!

Blurb:

① An ultra-down-to-earth rebel king x a great general with a string of glorious victories

The Great Xing Rebellion began with the imperial in-laws. The court was corrupt, and the people were left destitute. The rebels rose up in response to the people's will, but happened to run into the reigning dynasty's great general slaughtering enemies. The dusty, travel-worn rebel king took one look and saw a man who was basically a human-shaped Gundam, riding a black steed and taking on a hundred men alone. He charged in and out of that enormous encirclement three times, wielding a red halberd as if no one stood in his way.

Rebel King: (hesitates, unsure what to say)

His strategist had a sudden flash of inspiration. "I have a plan, Your Majesty. You are handsome and eloquent. Perhaps you could go persuade him."

Rebel King: (mishears him) "I... I, the king, should go sleep with him???"

② A lustful young emperor x a brilliant, beautiful strategist of a gentleman

As the northern Yao Ji clan's fortunes waned, they produced an eldest son named Ji Huchu. He was born with a proud, noble air, but made a career of fawning and currying favor. When he came to the capital, he got drunk and performed a striptease on a drum for the young emperor. Foxlike eyes, a hibiscus face, breath sweet as orchids, a waist supple as a willow, each step blooming like a lotus. He declared outright that he was willing to become the emperor's lover.

Young Emperor: (wipes away drool)

The Grand Tutor beside him immediately threw himself to the ground. "Your Majesty, you mustn't let indulgence in pleasure distract you from your duties!!!"

Young Emperor: (eyes fixed on the performance) "Yes, yes, that's right. Teacher, could you move? You're blocking my view."

③ A quick-witted transmigrated ruler x a bisexual household slave sworn to serve him unto death

With powerful clans monopolizing authority, a timid child emperor on the throne, and the nation on the verge of collapse, the benighted Third Prince, exiled by the late emperor in a fit of rage, rose from humble beginnings and went on to become emperor. At his side was a royal household slave named Xian Nu, his face covered by black iron. Skilled at assassination and nimble of body, he shared the new ruler's bed and was favored night after night. Soon, he was to be made the emperor's male empress.

The censor was so terrified that he stammered as he came forward to remonstrate. "Y-Your M-Majesty, there has never been a male empress in all history. This person is a demon, to be sure. Please think twice! This goes against all rites!"

Ruler: (with a look of disdain) "Off with you. Why are there so many rules? Now you're trying to dictate who I can marry, even when it's my own lifesaver?"

④ A stingy, penny-pinching new emperor x the Ninth Thousand-Year Lord, head of the emperor's hounds and enforcers

As everyone knows, my father was the emperor. To keep the entire court in line, he raised two vicious dogs: the Imperial Guard and the Eastern Depot. Besides that, my father was a fanatical collector of immortal elixirs. Before he died, he took a pill presented to him by Depot Director Xie Hebi, then kicked the bucket and went off to enjoy the afterlife.

The ministers dropped to their knees in a flurry. "Director Xie plotted to murder the late emperor. His crimes are unforgivable! We beg Your Majesty to pass judgment!"

New Emperor: (blatantly lying) "Director Xie has led the Eastern Depot for many years. His loyalty is admirable, and his intentions are worthy of sympathy. For the good of the realm, we shall spare his life for now."

Xie Hebi was so beautiful, like a seductive ghost. It would be such a shame to kill him.

Theme: Wanting to scrutinize someone, yet unable to resist admiring them