Dong Yun Yao was bound to a secret identity System.
System: [Your secret identity is gravely ill and has little time left. Your task is to play these secret identities and collect regret points. Understood?]
Dong Yun Yao: [Got it. I don't understand.]
System: [Good, as long as you understand... Wait, what?]
*
A newcomer joined the Port Mafia. He was always pale, and coughed three times with every step.
He started in the morning, and by the afternoon, he had angered the boss and been thrown into the interrogation room.
Boss: [Do you want to die?]
The newcomer lay down peacefully: [Please.]
Boss: [...]
The newcomer saw an executive about to drown himself.
Newcomer: [Stop jumping.]
Executive: [Are you going to tell me not to jump into the river like everyone else?]
Newcomer: [No. You can't die from jumping like that.]
Newcomer: [I'll get you a zebra-crossing membership. Then you'll be able to cross the street even when the light is red. You're welcome.]
Executive: [...]
The boss realized the newcomer was so brazen because he thought he wouldn't live much longer, and had adopted an attitude of having nothing left to lose.
He immediately arranged for the best medical team to treat the newcomer.
The next day, the doctor came to see him with a bitter expression. [He's gone.]
The boss's heart leaped.
The doctor said, [The guy left a note on his hospital bed saying he felt unwell, so he went home first!!]
Boss: [...]
After that, the boss and the executive regretted it every day.
They regretted letting the newcomer stay in the Mafia.
He was exhausting!
*
The Armed Detective Agency received a resume. The applicant was gravely ill and had little time left. Someone that frail wasn't suited to joining the agency, so they turned him down.
The next day, he sent them a message: [Since we can't be coworkers, I guess we'll have to be enemies.]
[Hope to see you on the battlefield.]
The Armed Detective Agency: ?
During a mission, the newcomer faced off against a criminal. He sprang to his feet, wearing an expression that was thirty percent mocking, thirty percent cold, and forty percent nonchalant. [Someone, come here.]
Everyone turned to look at him.
Newcomer: [Give me a hand.]
His blood and energy were too weak. He'd stood up too fast and couldn't see anything.
The newcomer realized he had lived unusually long this time, so he asked the famous detective: [Master, do you know how long I'll live?]
Famous Detective: [No.]
Newcomer: [I can treat you to cake and snacks.]
The famous detective looked up.
Newcomer: [The cake is at the cake shop, and the snacks are at the snack shop. You can pay for them and pick them up.]
Famous Detective: ?
Later, the Armed Detective Agency regretted it.
They regretted hiring him.
The speechless Armed Detective Agency thought: If this guy really joined the enemy, he might actually be very effective!
*
The System stared at the steadily rising regret points, dumbfounded. [S-so this is how you solve the problem?]
#NoRomance
#DontTryToReasonWithTheInsane
#RealizingHeIsGoingToDieSoon,HeDecidesToTakeOnTheWholeWorld
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