The Sheep Doesn't Want to Date the Snake

A sweet, naive sheep with a head full of snark x a ridiculous snake with a head full of schemes

Cen An was a sheep who had just logged in to take over a position and become an immortal.

One second, he was eating grass! The next, poof, he was an adult. 0.0

As soon as he logged in, they shoved a brush of good fortune into his hands. The Celestial Lord didn't even look up from the pile of unreviewed documents before stamping an official title onto his forehead: he was now the Qian sheep, a divine beast of good fortune in the Celestial Palace, in charge of the harvest.

Wait, he had only just transformed into human form! Wasn't this way too hasty?

Cen An was forced to start work, but he was terrible at it. He couldn't tell what could be eaten when, and all he remembered was hearing that autumn was harvest season.

So he waved his brush and moved the ripening season for everything to autumn.

Hey, don't question it. Today he says watermelons grow ripe in autumn, so autumn it is!

Sheep have their own rhythm!

In no time, the human world was thrown into chaos.

The Celestial Lord summoned him, dark circles under his eyes from staying up late to deal with official business. He opened his mouth several times, but couldn't bring himself to scold Cen An. Instead, he mercilessly kicked him down to the mortal realm to cram in some basic knowledge.

The sheep didn't understand. The sheep felt wronged. The sheep didn't want to work!

It wasn't like he wanted to become an immortal!

How annoying! Who was it that summoned him up here, anyway? ( ̀皿 ́)

*

Seeing how pitiful he looked, one of his colleagues secretly slipped down to keep him company over drinks and told him that the previous Qian sheep had mysteriously died, and Cen An had been chosen to fill in because he was born with spiritual power.

The sheep scoffed. He didn't believe it. There was so much work every day. The previous Qian sheep had definitely worked itself to death.

That night, he had a dream.

He was surrounded by black mist. Something like tentacles wrapped around his hands and waist, hard and scaly.

A voice was speaking in his head, but he couldn't remember what it said.

Cen An didn't think much of it when he woke up. He had to deal with the evil spirits created by his reckless meddling with the harvest, and was too busy to think about anything else.

But the voice in his head came more and more often, and grew clearer and clearer. They could even talk to each other.

At first, Cen An thought he was haunted. Later, he thought he was hallucinating because he was about to die from overwork.

Finally, he realized that no, this was really strange. It seemed they could switch who was in control!

*

Faced with an evil spirit several times his size:

Shadow: Quick, beat it to death!

Sheep: Sounds like you want me dead!

Just as the sheep was about to be eaten, the shadow mercilessly took over his body and slapped the evil spirit.

Evil spirit: ? That's not fair!

The shadow slapped it again.

Evil spirit: ? Hit me again, I dare you!

The shadow grabbed its body, tied it into a pretzel, and shoved it mercilessly into a purification bottle. "Ha! I'll hit you if I want! I've never heard such an M request before. ^-^"

With the mission successfully completed, the shadow prepared to retreat to the background, only to discover the sheep lazing around inside his body: That's it, I'm done! You can have this body! I'm off work! Bye-bye~

Shadow: ?

He logged out without mercy and kicked the sheep back into the driver's seat. "You're taking this shift today, no matter what."

Sheep: ! Q^Q

*

They got along peacefully until one day the Celestial Lord discovered the shadow and mercilessly separated him from Cen An.

The Celestial Lord said it was a fragment of the soul of the ferocious beast Jiuying, and Cen An had better stay far away from it.

The sheep didn't understand, but he wasn't used to being without the shadow.

While carrying out a mission alone, Cen An accidentally bumped into a man much taller and bigger than himself. He felt like a single punch from him would make him say goodbye to the entire species of immortals.

He was about to apologize when he suddenly caught a familiar scent from the man and asked, "Are you Jiuying?"

To his surprise, the man's expression changed. Right in front of him, he transformed into a giant serpent with nine heads, its scales gleaming an unusual green.

The sheep panicked and bolted, but the snake wrapped around his ankle and tripped him.

"I've told you so many times, you have to fight back. How could you possibly outrun it?"

A muddy abyss opened beneath Cen An as the giant serpent drew closer. "Come back to the abyss with me."

The sheep was so scared he froze, unable to move or answer. Jiuying had no choice but to turn back into human form and crouch in front of him.

But before he could do anything, Cen An suddenly let out a shriek and landed a heavy punch right on his head.

Jiuying's head spun. He raised a trembling finger and waved it at him. "You... well done..."

Then he dropped to the ground with a thud.

When Jiuying woke up again, he was lying on an inn pillow. He found that he had turned into a little snake, a tiny green snake with just one head!

Wait! Where had all his cultivation gone? It was all gone! A sheep had eaten it!

The snake flopped back down, ready to give up. Might as well die right now. He had no face left to show anyone.

As soon as he lay down, he felt something strange growing on his head. He crawled over to the mirror and took one look. His pupils practically shook with shock!

Good heavens! A plant had sprouted from his head! There was grass!

Jiuying tried to pull it out, then rolled around on the table in pain.

The sheep happened to come down with the Celestial Lord. They opened the door and saw this absurd scene.

"..."

*

The Celestial Lord said that the plant was a sealing spell Cen An had placed on Jiuying. If Jiuying agreed to submit, Cen An could tell him how to break it.

The snake straightened his back and firmly rejected the offer. "I'd rather die than submit!"

The Celestial Lord rolled up his sleeves and smiled wickedly. "Is that so?"

Half an hour later, the snake, forced to sign a contract of servitude, curled up on top of the sheep's head in a sulk.

[Reader's Guide: 1. One-on-one happy ending, silly and sweet romance.

2. Two souls in one body at first, separating only later.

3. Lots of modern slang.]

Theme: Even at work, you can fall in love~