[Western Crossover] Wait, I'm a Bat Kid Too?

[This is a spur-of-the-moment idea for a Batman kid secret-identity story.]

Ulysses died. Then Ulysses came back to life (sort of), and ended up at the legendary Space-Time Administration, where he signed a work contract.

All right, now it's time to pick your System. That's what the senior said, but this time the System is choosing him.

Great, a System picked him. It looks pretty powerful, and it's a secret-identity System too. Chuunibyou delight!

System: You are a little boy with black hair and blue eyes.

Ulysses: I am a little boy with black hair and blue eyes.

System: All your secret identities have black hair and blue eyes.

Ulysses: Got it. We have the same color scheme. So, the higher the compatibility, the better I can play the role, right? I totally understand.

System: No, what they have in common is that they're all Batman's kids.

Ulysses: Okay, I get it. When I play these secret identities, I have to call him Dad, right? I can totally do that.

System: Great, you are a little boy with black hair and blue eyes.

Ulysses: ...What are you trying to say?

Ulysses: Let's put that aside for now. Let me take a look at my secret identities.

At a glance, Ulysses saw melodramatic relationship dramas, tragic beauty-and-suffering dramas, silly cultivation dramas, tokusatsu shows, shonen manga, shojo manga, proper Lego stories, original American superhero comics, and chaotic comedy anime.

Being the genetic offspring of one superhero or supervillain after another was just the basics. The products of one-night stands were nothing special. Mysterious masterminds and magical powers were everywhere, and deus ex machina interventions were commonplace. In this crowd, the occasional normal adoption somehow seemed downright refreshing.

Every style, every species: human, nonhuman, alien, or fantastical. Some had twisted feelings about their dad, others had perfectly healthy ones. What an incredible army of Batman kids, with every variety imaginable.

Ulysses: Actually, this should be called the Bat Legion, right?

System: You are a little boy with black hair and blue eyes.

Ulysses: Okay, I get it. The body I made after being resurrected is a Batman kid, right?

System: You are a little boy with black hair and blue eyes.

Ulysses: ...I'm begging you, man.

Uli is a cheerful, enthusiastic chuunibyou kid.

A serious discussion of whether Batman could command an army of superhuman children to sweep across Gotham and get back to being himself (not really).

A few things to know before reading:

1. This is a ridiculous, over-the-top Batman-kid story. Expect plenty of melodrama.

2. The story won't go into as much detail as this blurb, or it really would become an army.

3. Apologies for everything: the OOC, the unfriendly portrayal of superheroes and villains, and all the characters.

4. I can promise there won't be a plot. This is pure nonsense.

5. There may be plenty of stupid scenes and dark jokes.

6. Batman kids will be created as needed. The secret identities will develop their own consciousness later on, and their identities won't be revealed.

7. Negative comments about the original superheroes under the story will be deleted.

Theme: Take life seriously.